Sublime Dream

Support

2012-01-04T11:48:00.001-10:00

I just want to say thank you to all of the other parents parenting on the spectrum out there. Every one Blogging, on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.... I wish none of our kids had to go through their struggles, but I am so grateful for such a supportive community online! Over the last year and a half, it has boggled my mind what I had previously missed out on. The community of autism parents are so caring, supportive, and always there for each other. Before jumping into this online world I always felt so alone in my parenting experience. But now, everyday, I get to chat and laugh with amazing people who "just GET it". That's something I don't have a whole lot of otherwise. So this is my open THANK YOU letter to all of you.

-Jill

Yes, I CAN Do It!

2012-01-04T09:40:00.001-10:00

Kekito cracked me up last night when he pointed at this picture and said, "Look! It's Mommy with a muscle bump (aka fist bump)!!!!"

4 Years Have Come and Gone

2011-12-31T00:30:00.000-10:00

Happy Birthday to my Kekito. Today he is four years old. That blows my mind. The seasoned parents tell me that the next 10, and even 20 years will go even faster- I don't even want to think of that.

I've seen many kids grow up, but something about seeing your own child grow is like magic. Looking through the baby photos recently makes me laugh at how much he still looks the same, yet he is more than half my size!

He has reached a ton of firsts this year, and I can't imagine what may come in the fourth. He has become toilet trained both day and night (that night time part was a HUGE, welcome, shock). He has learned to answer questions. He has developed ridiculous negotiating skills. And he has become such (over all) a sweet and caring big brother.

I am so proud of every bit of him. I wish I had all the patience he deserves. He is a Miracle in my life.

When Everyone Is Wrong AND Right...

2011-12-26T10:42:00.004-10:00

...At the SAME time. Where do you go next?

I wonder why it is with some people how it is possible to somehow wholeheartedly affirm opposite subjective positions on the same occurrence.

It makes me wonder if I am really that crazy?... But it only happens consistently with some people.

I understand that how people feel affects how they perceive events. But how do you solve this? Or is it something you just deal with? Please sound off in the comments with any advice!

A funny clip from the show "Up All Night" that is a good example, and probably all too easy to relate to for most parents:

Wordless Wednesday: Ladybug Encounter

2011-11-23T06:45:00.001-10:00

Kekito got to see and hold a Ladybug for the first time yesterday!

Our pet Ladybug for the afternoon.

Ignorance is Bliss?

2011-11-22T11:28:00.001-10:00

I've wondered lately about the phrase, "Ignorance is Bliss". I think there may be a lot of truth to it.

Before I found out I had ADD, I thought everyone felt exactly the same as I did. The only problem (for me) was that I relentlessly wondered why I was the only one that didn't thrive in school despite being "smart", or why I had such a hard time making friends and relating to my peers. I never realized why things I did made the whole class laugh at me until years after each event. That has been a life long pattern. I still have a huge fear of public speaking because of it.

How were so many people able to get degrees? I couldn't even manage to stay off academic probation at the community college I attended. Finding out that I was neurologically different was wonderful... or at least it was at first. It was shocking to "interview" everyone I knew and realize that very few of them felt the same way as I did. I had never even noticed. Once my eyes were opened, I started paying more attention via "people watching". I knew then why people "lovingly" gave me pet names like, "Nerd". No, seriously, people that loved me. ;) I was like seemingly "average" yet incredibly nerdy?

Makes much more sense now, the friendships from teenage years: I was in my own head most of the time.

A Lighter Moment

2011-11-15T20:10:00.000-10:00

Wordless Wednesday

I hope this makes you smile as much as it made me smile!

He's a Wanderer...

2011-11-14T01:00:00.001-10:00

Wandering is one of the big problems parents of little kids face, but even more so specifically when their child has Autism. It is one of the issues with Autism that has immediate, possibly dire, consequences. And it can happen in a flash. I've been noticing it a lot more in the news lately, as well as even seeing friends and bloggers sharing their own worst moments of fear.

Kekito was a clear wanderer shortly after he began toddling.

I've known since Kekito was a mere 15 months old that he was absolutely a wanderer. I had already noticed the way he checked out of my atmosphere and moved into his own as he wandered off to investigate whatever it was that caught his attention. At that point I thought it had to do more with his age, and that all toddlers must be like that. Then as I read "Emotional Life of the Toddler", (Alicia F. Lieberman, Ph.D.) to find some insight on how to "deal" with our "difficult temperament" toddler, a study she wrote about peaked my interest.

"Autistic Brains Have Abnormal Number of Brain Cells, Study Finds"

2011-11-10T08:16:00.001-10:00

This week I came across a study about the number of neurons in an Autistic brain via Robert, a journalist with Asperger's. It was very intriguing and made a lot of sense, but also left me with a few of questions to mull over.

The study consisted of observing 13 brains donated to science of males ages 2-16 (A colossal thank you to their parents for aiding important research, you have my utmost gratitude and sincere condolences). Of the 13 brains studied, 7 had Autism and 6 did not.

image via Idea go

What they found was that the brains with Autism had 67% more neurons in the Prefrontal Cortex. The Prefrontal Cortex is a region associated with social, emotional, and communication processing; all of these are well known difficulties for a person with Autism.

Read more »

Big Mama Cass Just Made My Day!

2011-11-03T14:06:00.001-10:00

Last week Cassi a.k.a. "Big Mama Cass" (who is awesome) of Casa di Cass posted a review of a downright gorgeous clutch from an excellent Etsy shop named Paper Flora!

Photo via Casa di Cass

Halloween: Costume Edition!

2011-10-31T23:19:00.001-10:00

Happy Halloween! I hope everyone had a fun night! I hope the kids have lots of candy, and I wish you the will power to stay out of it! lol I know I have zero. So luckily I made sure to pass all of ours out and the kids only brought home a few pieces! I will be sad tomorrow, but happy in a couple weeks about that! As promised in the Halloween Creations post, here is my follow up with pictures of my cuties in costume!

Nothing like a little brotherly love and goofing around!

The Halloween Creations

2011-10-31T13:36:00.001-10:00

We had a busy last few days making treats for Halloween; some cute and some tasty! Kekito even drew his very own Jack-O-Lantern "face" for the first time!

We glued up some awesome garden decorations for Kekito's teachers and our own yard.

Kekito Wins The Header Race!

2011-10-30T13:47:00.000-10:00

Thank you to everyone that voted in my survey for the new header! 7 to 1 voted for Kekito digging in the sand! So voila! I changed it up a little to fit more. Hope you enjoy it, and thank you for helping me decide!

Funny Things That Freak Kids Out

2011-10-28T02:00:00.000-10:00

Seeing Danny flip out at the t.v. today made me remember when Kekito was a little guy. The count from Sesame Street is what really wigged him out. But that was pretty understandable to me.

To see a clip of the hilarious Amy Sedaris as the Tooth Fairy click the link!

Photo via tv.com

However, it cracked me up to see that the very first thing to ever freak out Danny to the core was this Tooth Fairy episode of Yo Gabba Gabba! You would think those "Jerri Blank" faces of Amy's could only freakout a hormonal teenage boy!

What funny freak-out moments do you treasure? :)

Help Me Pick A New Header?

2011-10-26T13:19:00.002-10:00

Which header would you most like to see on Sublime Dream?

A) The view from Diamond Head

B) Kekito digging in the sand

Click here to take survey
Thanks for taking time to help me decide!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-26T02:00:00.000-10:00

Sigh... LOVE.... ;)

Could It Be Fibromyalgia?

2011-10-24T08:52:00.003-10:00

For years now I have had various "health anomalies" I guess you could say? But the biggest issue by far was my extreme fatigue and constant body aches. It grew worse and worse over time; I chalked it up to being a tired mom. But it got to the point of being just unreal. Add to that all the "little things" that just seemed "off" made me convinced it had to be more. It had to be more because it all started before I became a mom. Years before.

I went to the Dr. over and over. I am certain they thought I was crazy. I knew I wasn't a hypochondriac: I wasn't certain I had every new thing that halfway fit the symptoms! I was certain they couldn't be because they didn't fit them all. I was certain, however, that something was wrong. People told me, "Welcome to getting old!" My immediate thought following was always, I'm only 25 (that's when it started getting drastic)! If it keeps getting worse, I honestly don't know how 50 year-olds are even alive and walking!

A large snail we found on one of our walks.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-19T04:00:00.000-10:00

Is that REALLY real? Part 2

2011-10-18T05:09:00.001-10:00

A reoccurring dream I had last night about past events reminded me of two other really great examples of ADHD.

In high school I used to forget my P.E. locker combo all the time. Once I had even used the combo to dress out, but an hour later for the life of me could not remember the combo to get back into regular clothes. I ended up having to have the teacher use bolt cutters to cut the lock. I had tried every combo I could think of until I was going to be missing my next class...

Along those same lines of school stuff: I signed up for an online class once upon a time before I was put on academic probation (and subsequently failed out of junior college), and I forgot that I ever even signed up for the class until the semester was already half over. Obviously had I remembered I'd have withdrawn before the deadline (or even logged on and attempted to do the course work!)... But by that point it was too late.

After dropping out of school was when my therapist diagnosed me with ADD. We worked on behavioral therapy for over a year together. With that experience, I was able to be successful in the military, earn an associate's degree, and finish 6 online classes with an A- average (even while parenting a toddler with Autism).

So again, ADD (or whatever it really is) DOES exist, you really can forget the unforgettable beyond belief even when you try your hardest. And behavioral therapy can work WONDERS!

Until I am back to a regular computer, here is the long link to the original post: http://www.sublimedream.com/2011/10/is-that-really-real.html

Trying Something New

2011-10-17T10:29:00.001-10:00

This is my first real go at publishing a post on my iPhone using Google's new Blogger app. There are DEFINITELY some issues for them to work out. I did my part already and gave some feedback...

I'll keep this test post simple: I won't get into a review of the flaws of this first version of the app, but test the feature I've most looked forward to.

... Uploading a photo via mobile phone! Sergio goes on business this week and needs his computer for school. This makes me remember I need to urgently fix MY computer! Anyone know if the geek squad can replace keyboard keys while they are at it?!

Who Won Coffee For Boobs?!

2011-10-16T20:59:00.000-10:00

Our view on the walk!

Thank you so much to everyone who made donations in support of our walk for The Susan G. Komen Foundation and the fight against Breast Cancer! We had a great time, and because of you, lives will be saved! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Please Don't Turn The Page!

2011-10-15T13:04:00.002-10:00

Grover isn't just our pick of the week!

Starbucks now offers apps as "Picks of the week" as well as songs on iTunes. I'm not sure how much longer these cards will last, so run to a Starbuck's for your code and some coffee!

This was one of my family's favorites, growing up, and being the classics that it is, I am guessing the same for most of you out there! My mom bought each of my siblings and I copies of it when we started having our own kids; and it has been a squeal inducing delight ever since for both of the boys!

I have to say, it looks as though this app version is no different! If anything it may be that much more magical! Not only is is a book that they've always adored, but it now is interacting with them, and they get to hear the real Grover's voice. Not mom's cheap Grover imitation: it's a bit of relief for me as well in that way! My voice gets so hoarse from "doing the Grover", that I often have to hide that one particular book for a bit of recovery time.

"Is That REALLY Real?"

2011-10-10T20:54:00.001-10:00

I am often hearing the question, "Is that really real?", when I explain that I have ADD. This kind of drives me a little bit crazy. Yes, it is really real. Yes, it may be over (or mis-) diagnosed. No, I don't think it is fully understood at all.

Image: Gregory Szarkiewicz
This sign is about the jist of how my brain feels around other people.

I questioned the validity of it myself upon being diagnosed. I voraciously began to read everything I could get my hands on. With every new page turned, I felt like I was reading my own unauthorized auto biography.
Read more »

Coconut Pancakes

2011-10-08T07:23:00.000-10:00

I made these Coconut pancakes for my family last week, and they flew off the counter! I have made several variations on this, but this most recent version has been the favorite so far! Living on the island, I've been a little bit more aware of adding "tropical flares" to my food. Sergio is happy, because he is a big coconut lover!

What's the Hold Up? Private Donation For Autism Research

2011-09-29T15:23:00.000-10:00

Start here by watching this powerful video made by a loving father who obviously cares very much about his daughter, her condition, and her recovery. A man on a mission.

Here are some highlights, from the video, that I've typed out for you:

1 in 110 children will be diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) this year.
More kids will be diagnosed this year with ASD than AIDS, Diabetes, and Cancer combined.

Yet private donation totals remain lower than less prevalent conditions; for example:

Leukemia affects 1 in 1,200 Funding: 277 million
Muscular Dystrophy affects 1 in 100,000 Funding: 162 million
Pediatric AIDS affects 1 in 300 Funding: 394 million
Juvenile Diabetes affects 1 in 500 Funding: 156 million
Autism affects 1 in 110 Funding: 79 million

Autism research received .6% of the total annual budget of National Institute of Health in 2010.

So why do I think this is? Some people won't like what I have to say. If that's the case, I think it will largely have to do with me not wording myself right- let me throw that out here now.

Read more »

Cherish Your Friendships and Relationships

2011-09-24T11:00:00.000-10:00

"No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth."
Robert Southey

Today I am sad because you are flying far away (You = You know who you are). I will miss you so much. You've been a second sister to me since we were seven. You are the only friend I have held on to since early childhood. I guess being raised together has kept us together. Your family is mine, and mine is yours.
Read more »

The Things Kids Say... ASD style

2011-09-23T05:00:00.000-10:00

So then. The title says it all. If you are like me, mom to a child with Autism, you wonder sometimes about the things coming out of their mouths. I am so so so grateful there is anything coming out of his mouth. Before Early Intervention, Kekito was 20 months old and could say, "Ball, Blue, Ma, & No", all only very recent acquisitions at the time. EI seemed to have unlocked his brain, because within 2 months, words started pouring out.

This one took a while to figure out.

Starting a Blog: Tips I Wish I Knew From the Start

2011-09-22T12:05:00.000-10:00

"Blogging requires a serious amount of learning. I feel like I still learn something new every week that I wish I had been doing all along..." -said Sommer (author of the blog A Spicy Perspective) recently, on a SITS Featured Blogger interview . Boy did that resonate with me. Then flash forward to the next day, I woke up to an e-vite to my neighbor's new blog. He's been wanting to start it for a while and mentioned a couple times over the last year that he had a few questions about blogging.

via freedigitalphotos.net

So all this got me to thinking about the sort of things I wish I had known from the jump off. What would I want to share with him to help? Why not share it with everyone? I am not a blogging genius. Haha, that may be obvious, but even so like Sommer said, "...I still learn something new every week..." But I can at least try to share what I have learned. I jumped into blogging at the suggestion of a friend, and it was unbelievably off the cuff. It went a little something like this. I knew nothing and that was frustrating.
So here we go in a simple bullet style list (since I'm otherwise long winded):
Read more »

Kekito Loves Hats

2011-09-21T10:00:00.000-10:00

Spreading the Word About The A.Skate Foundation

2011-09-20T12:48:00.001-10:00

Please take a moment to check out this post from Extreme Parenthood about The A.Skate Foundation.

If you are too busy, consider taking a quick glance at just this video here:

If you drink Pepsi, please donate your power votes. If not, please vote on Pepsi's page to support this foundation benefiting children with Autism or by texting the number 108814 to the number 73774 (PEPSI) once per day.

Thank you!

Coffee for Boobs with team TA~DA!

2011-09-20T12:10:00.003-10:00

Hey everyone,

So did I get your attention with my post title?! Okay, you all know what time it is because everyone is posting their mystery status updates on Face Book.... Yes, it is Breast Cancer Awareness month!

Photo via http://www.komenhawaii.org/

Here are some statistics for you to reflect on:

- 240,000 new breast cancer cases are estimated to be diagnosed in 2011
- 2,500 men are estimated to be diagnosed with breast cancer this year
- 1 in 8 women will develop invasive breast cancer some time during her life
- Breast cancer is the most common cancer among women, other than skin cancer
- One woman is diagnosed with breast cancer every three minutes – that's 20 women on your lunch hour!

This year I am participating in the Susan G. Komen walk here in Hawaii with friends. I am excited, as this is something I've wanted to do for a long time now!

What's that? "How can you help?" I am so glad you asked! ;) You can visit my page and make a donation/sponsor my team! But, I want to make sure to thank you for supporting this cause....

So! When you make a donation through my page, I will recieve an email that verifies it. You can make a donation of any ammount, even annonymous amounts! $1 or $100, I am grateful for anything your heart wishes to bless the cause with. And every dollar raised adds up to help!

If you make a donation on my page, make sure to leave a comment here on my page simply saying, "I donated!" or even add why or in honor and memory of who! I'd love to know and honor our loved ones dealing with this. I am walking and donating in honor of my Great Nana (who has passed 12 years ago from unrelated causes), my beautiful Aunt Diana who is currently tackling the beast (like the huntress ;) whose name she bears), and my amazing Mother-in-law (and a personal hero for so many reasons!) who is a strong survivor!

When all is said and done, I will select a random winner from the comments section to receive a $20 gift card to Starbucks! Even donating a single dollar will qualify you to enter the raffle! So hey, help the cause if you feel so inclined, and you will be entered for a chance to win some Starbucks skrilla! ;)

Mahalo for the support and love!

P.S. For those of you who have expressed interest in mailing checks, I've heard back from our team leader, and here is the deal:

"Write the check payable to: Susan G. Komen for the Cure. Be sure they put in there a note that they're donating to you or team TA~DA! so it'll count towards our team total. But you can also let them know that the donation website (your site & our team site) is a SSL Secured website and they can easily make the tax deductible donation online with peace of mind."

Rules and info:

I am supplying the gift card as a thank you on my own, it is not a paid sponsorship by any company, nor in any way affiliated with The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, Hawaii Affiliate of Susan G. Komen for the Cure®, Susan G. Komen for the Cure Hawaii Race for the Cure®
Give-away is only open to commenters who donate to the cause via my donation page.
Any comments are very welcome and encouraged, but without donation will not be included for the drawing, as this is a thank you from me to my readers for their sponsorship.
Winner will be selected using a random number generator. Contest will be closed as of 0001 hrs on 16 October PST.
An e-gift certificate will be rewarded, or if you prefer, a card will be mailed. Winner will need to provide me with an email address or mailing address upon selection in order to receive the thank you prize.
The winner will be announced on a blog posting here at www.sublimedream.com and will also be linked to this post. The winner will have two days from the date of announcement to claim their prize by contacting me @the1sublimelife@gmail.com.
If the winner does not claim their prize in the 24 hour period, a new randomly selected winner will be announced.

I suggest subscribing by email to ensure you don't miss the announcement. You can unsubscribe at any time by clicking the unsubscribe option at the bottom of the emails.

The Toxin Eating You Alive

2011-09-19T16:02:00.000-10:00

Curious what I am convinced is eating you from the inside out? I bet you anything, you'll probably agree (at least somewhat). I see it all the time, and I don't think I can honestly say I have a single mommy friend that hasn't confirmed it's presence in their lives. It's something I just want to talk about because it's been on my mind like crazy. I know everyone is aware of it. I know no one will be able to eradicate it. But I want to encourage all of us. So... what is it???

Image: africa / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Bellows AFB beach cabins (part II)

2011-09-15T12:12:00.001-10:00

Adventure, I tell you! Or, depending on how you look at it, sheer terror and sleep deprivation. I see a little of both in it.
Did you know that Hawaii is home to amazingly awful centipedes? It's true! There is a price to pay to live in paradise. I had thought when we first moved here, the price to pay was super super (super) high cost of living. Turns out it also factors in a ton of bugs and other creatures that are nasty or annoying. The centipede is the only one that actually scares me. I know what you are thinking. She has got to be exaggerating for dramatic effect. So I dare you... Click here to see what these monsters look like.

Yeah.... monsters.

So night adventure number two started out with Danny waking up crying (mostly because he was sad about being in a new place). I was able to settle him back to sleep on a bed with me, but there was no way he was willing to go back to his port-a-crib. Maybe an hour later, Kekito woke up screaming. "I need a band-aid! Ooowww! I need a band-aid!" Off I ran to lay with him. He always says he needs a band-aid for his hands and feet when they go numb while he is asleep; so I asked him if that was what was wrong. "Yes", he answered with a long sad little whine. Every so often he kept shifting his weight and crying that he needed a band-aid. Finally I started worrying about what may be wrong. Nature called, so I asked Kekito to wait just a minute, and I would be right back. I was worried about centipedes by that point, so I decided to flip the bathroom light switch just in case. I am not sure if I am glad I did or not. But there it was. A long centipede right (enter PARALYZING FEAR) there about 4 inches from my feet. Obviously I flipped the heck out and ran out to get Kekito and bring him into the light. I had been sure this must have been the reason for his waking with a scream.

Read more »

Bellows AFB beach cabins (part I)

2011-09-12T20:57:00.002-10:00

One word: Breath-taking. Is that technically one word? Oh screw it... Breath-taking, beautiful, amazing, awesome, wonderful, peaceful, adventure-filled. So many words once you really sit and reflect.

We went to stay for two days at a beach cabin and, as I posted on Facebook that same day we arrived, "I think we found Heaven".

I had to make a little joke about that thought the next day... while the environment was serene and awe-inspiring, we had a rough and tumble adventure. Absolutely memory building and bonding as a family though. I told Sergio that God must have decided to remind me that I was wrong- we weren't anywhere near the beauty of Heaven!
The first night was rough due to the fact that Kekito was on the tail end of a stomach bug, and I am forgetful when things don't follow routine. Long story shorter: we moved bath time to just after beach time; which was too far before bed time for a diaper. See where we are headed? Yeah... that's right, I put Kekito to bed with out a diaper while he was having diarrhea struggles. ~~Mommy of the year award~~... Sorry if that's too much for you- if it is, stop reading. Now. You can just look at the photos!

Read more »

Potty training a toddler with Autism:

2011-09-12T12:30:00.006-10:00

Could anything else be more frustrating? Maybe. I am not sure; but I will let you know if I find anything that takes more time and patience!

I am sure everyone has heard all the same stories I did: "We did it over a long weekend before he started day care.", "She just woke up one day and said, I want to use the potty and wear princess underwear.", "They just need to be naked outside for a couple days.", "It took a long time, probably an entire month!", and most of all "When he is ready, he will just do it on his own." I am not sure if these people were just amazingly lucky? Or if that is something I have to look forward to with Danny hopefully?! Or maybe they are full of bologna or fuzzy memories?

Read more »

Healthier baked donughts

2011-09-06T13:00:00.006-10:00

‎

3/4 c whole wheat flour
1/2 c all-purpose flour
1/3 c wheat germ
1/4 c ground flax seal meal
1 1/4 tsp. baking powder
1/8 tsp. ground nutmeg
1/2 tsp. sea salt
1/2 tsp. baking soda
2 1/4 tbsp. corn starch

1/2 unsweetened almond milk
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 1/2 tbsp. butter, melted
3/8 c clover honey

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Spray doughnut mold with nonstick spray.

Sift the flour together with the other dry ingredients in a large bowl. Add the wet ingredients to the bowl and stir until just combined. Fill each compartment of a doughnut mold about half full using a pastry bag (or Ziploc bag with tip cut off). Bake for approximately 4-6 min until doughnuts spring back when light pressure is applied.

"If I spent more time doing things...

2011-09-05T13:00:00.000-10:00

...instead of looking for things to do, I'd have a lot more done". -Casey V.

Wise words Ms. Casey. Wise words.

I feel like that is a big problem for me often. Big hopes and dreams; not a lot of action. I don't seem to ever be able to turn my brain off. Less thinking, more doing. That's what I need.

Today while I was making the boys' lunches I was thinking about the only thing I can think of that I can get lost in and completely shut down my thoughts while doing is: painting. I'm not really great at it or anything. I don't have all the money in the world to spend on supplies. Most of my paintings have no where to go but in a closet. I rarely do it anymore for lack of time and space. But maybe I should start.

Or maybe I should stop thinking about starting? OR maybe I should first get done the things I'm already always behind on? Opinions? What is something you can really get lost in?

"Yummy Pasta Salad"

2011-09-04T16:32:00.001-10:00

Yes, that's really the name; and yes it does live up to the hype!

This is a really interesting pasta salad that my friend Casey introduced me to. I've never had one like it before. It is on the sweet side which is new to me; but oh so tasty! It is the perfect pasta for a hot summer BBQ or picnic!

Main ingredients:

2 c grapes cut into halves

2 c torn spinach

1 bag "Wacky Mac" noodles

1 c diced cucumber

Dressing:

1/2 c olive oil

1/2 c sugar

2 tbsp vinegar

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp minced onion

1 tbsp lemon juice

Directions:

Make dressing first, mix well, and set aside.

Make the salad, then toss with the dressing and chill well.

(Extra tasty on the second day! Great news if you are looking for something good to make ahead!)

Ahhhhh.... Sweet Relief

2011-09-03T13:53:00.002-10:00

Wonderfully unexpected news to share from last night! Just when I was certain I was going to regret driving across the island with two young boys in bad moods late in the day, I ended up eating crow. I feel bad for ranting yesterday about how frustrating and hard it is to have a good day the whole day through. But alas, that is how I feel, and sometimes I am just not in the best mood to handle it. But I know anyone with little kids surely understands! ;)

Kekito and Danny made fast friends with another little boy at the BBQ. It was a great time had by all... well mostly all! And certainly by my family and I!

I'm just going to sit here and look pretty.

2011-09-02T15:41:00.002-10:00

Today started out beautifully; but as is usual lately, it's kind of fallen apart by mid day. I think one of the things that frustrates me about living with Autism is how hard it is to ever have a really nice day ALL DAY. I know it's not all that common for most families with ANY small children to often have smooth days. But I FEEL like with Kekito it may be harder. I feel like instead I live in beautiful moments, which I have learned to be mostly ok with. But I don't think it's as easy as that for everyone around me. K is so easily set off by so many things and I always wonder if the stress will make us all weaker or stronger. I feel like with everyone in my world I am responsible for ensuring they have a good time while also looking out for K's triggers and good time. I want to be consistent with him even when it's awful and hard. But i end up feeling like I burst other peoples bubbles on the way. I need to get off the tight rope. If you have any suggestions, or feel the same, please feel free to comment! I'd love to hear, learn, and commiserate! While we drive to labor day weekend BBQ, I will just sit quietly cutting out pretend M&Ms (I will explain that later), while I silently pray persistantly for a peaceful ride and evening. If I get the answer I want, maybe you will get to see some pictures! :)

It's only then you realize how much you have to pee.

2011-08-31T11:47:00.001-10:00

I think I have a spastic bladder. Almost 100% serious on that one.

My boys fought their naps tooth and nail today which led to our last resort- car naps. After Kekito busted out of his cell and ran downstairs, I decided we would walk to the base store to cut off our cable. He didn't like my stroller walk plan (and neither did I because it is crazy hot), so he shouted, "NO! Let's rock and roll!" That is his new way of saying "riding in the car". :)

So we rocked. And we rolled. All the way to our nearest Starbucks drive-thru. Maybe their boycott worked out for the best, because I got to have my beloved coffee and sit for a few quiet minutes to write. BUT, as the title implies, it was only then that I realized how badly my bladder was dancing. I am trying to figure out if I only FEEL like I have to go once I've lost any chance of going, or if I just am too distracted to realize until then.

It reminds me of a time I was at Treasure Island with my friend Blake. With an accident imminent and no port-a-potties available, I resorted to a sliced up crystal geyser bottle in the back seat and Blake blocking the nearest window like my personal body guard. That was interesting... and embarrassing, but I'd take it right now!

So what is your most memorable potty problem? Can't lie, I'd love a good laugh!! ;)

P.S. I made it on time! ;)

Some recent photos

2011-08-29T14:00:00.027-10:00

I thought that maybe I'd get my blog ball rolling again with some photos of the moments that have kept me so busy while I was away....

Danny (May 2011)

Danny (19 months old)

My little boyfriend K, and I.

Kekito's first fort

Coming up for air again.

2011-08-28T12:31:00.003-10:00

I've had my head burried in the sand for a bit there.... Typical for an ADDer not wanting to deal with emotional and overwhelming frustrations

I let myself get wound up and spun out with self imposed pressures, as well as the very real
pressures of day to day life. I guess I've had some time to sit back and reflect on what's going on in life, where I am headed, deal with silly personal dramas. Now I am thinking I am finally ready to pull my head out my.... Um, sandbox.

I am thinking maybe I can't consistently stick to anything for longer than 6 months, or else I will break the cycle of the only thing I have ever managed to do consistently.

Need more proof that my brain is broken?

2011-03-17T07:08:00.001-10:00

Well, I'm totally crazy. In a kooky way though- not a 51-50 sort of way! ;)

Every so often something happens that makes me realize on a whole new level how officially wacky my brain is. Most recently, I received this really awesome gesture from my friend Chris @ A crazy kind of faith. The first 30 seconds upon seeing that she passed on a "stylish blogger" bloggy award to Sublime Dream, I was all smiles. Then, when I realized how daunting (?crazy much?) it would be finding friends to pass it on to that don't already have it- I panicked. Completely frozen, I decided I'd put it off until I had time to scour all my buddy's sites to see who already had it. Then I thought, "Well you know, I don't want to just be all up on my blog posting without acknowledging the awesome gesture.... and I don't want to sound crazy explaining why something so nice and simple is stressing me out so badly". So of course, I couldn't be seen again until I made it right.... yeah that makes sense, lol. Then I kept thinking that if I explained it all, it'd make me come across as all wrapped up in myself. I have had a long history of coming across the wrong way to people. (A sore spot that also popped it's head up in the last couple weeks- but that's a whole other post...) I definitely didn't want that to happen here.

I've thought of so many little things I wanted to blog about over the last couple weeks.... but I felt like I just couldn't until I had finished the passing on of the award first. I buried my head so deep in the sand to avoid my anxiety. But now I've got to get over it! =)

It's yet another effect of the ADD.... Something little that I made bigger and bigger in my head until it's totally overwhelming. Just like not being able to check my email or voice mails. That's the worst thing of all I think. I don't know why, but the sight of a new voicemail sends me nearly into a tizzy. I've been this way since I was a young teenager. I think I had bad phone experiences with Jake E. and Matt G. back in junior high school.=) I seem to have had a ridiculous phone phobia ever since.

I should have brought this up before for behavioral therapy, but I'm kind of thinking I don't know if I'd even be brave enough to face that phobia.... I literally get tightness in my chest and have to take several deep breaths before calling to check my voicemail. Sometimes, I even panic when I accidentally hit the check voicemail button, and scramble to hit the end button. My voice mail honestly only gets checked about 5 times a year. These days, your voice mails delete after a few months of not being checked. This leaves room for new voice mails on a regular basis. Sigh.... back in the good old days when cell phones were "new" they just "filled up"; my mail box was simply full all the time. I loved having a full mailbox. It meant I could never get a new one to feel anxiety over.

Just yesterday my husband saw a burned C.D. that my friend Ric gave me when I was a teenager. Written upon it were the bold, underlined words, "CHECK YOU MAIL!!!!!!". Yes, I've loooong had a problem with social anxiety. Even though emails from Ric (my best friend at the time) would have made my day, worrying about whatever else may be lurking in there kept me away from my inbox.

I know it makes no sense. It makes me feel so crazy.... I recently chatted about it with a friend of mine, and I swear I must have made her re-think our friendship! On the bright side, my sister said she feels the same to a certain degree, so that's a bit of comfort that I'm not totally alone! (For a more hilarious telling of phone phobia tales, visit Ms. Amanda at Life is a Spectrum)

Until I'm brave enough to face the phone phobia; I guess texting is my best friend. And for now, I need to start making baby steps at getting back into my blog. Aye!

Seeing magic for what it is

2011-02-02T20:33:00.000-10:00

Watch the full episode. See more NOVA scienceNOW.

Watching Nova tonight, we learned another little tidbit about awesome autism skills. Magic isn't likely to fool autistic individuals due to the fact that the magician tends to rely on joint attention to pull off tricks. They use joint attention to distract the audience from their slight of hand!

Busy, Busy, Busy...

2011-02-01T06:16:00.000-10:00

Being an ADD girl, writing in spurts and coming back to finish at a later time seems soooo unlikely to happen, that I've never bothered trying. But I think I may just have to try that. Life has been so busy lately. Mostly because I've somehow made it that way. I need to figure out a new routine for our newly freed-up days. You'd think there was no way I could feel so busy after saying adios to 3 hours of ABA training each day, and downsizing to just 1 child from 8 am to 1:45 pm. But it's oddly possible.

I dreamed that having Kekito in school everyday would leave me with wild amounts of time to blog, paint, read, you name it! But instead I find myself chasing the elusively "spic and span 100% of the time" house. Of course it still doesn't exactly happen; so maybe I need to try setting some ground rules to keep me sane when I get into a cleaning flurry. Whatever it is I am doing, I seem to focus on it fully, and all else ceases to exist. :( Currently, the house is my obsession.

In hopes of changing all this gunk, I decided to start ADD medication. I asked the Dr. for Adderall because I know my body, and I know that I need a stimulant. He said yes, but came back in the room saying the pharmacy was out, so he'd try Strattera. I was pretty sure that was one that was not a stimulant... So I asked him, "Is it the same medication as Adderall?" Apparently that wasn't specific enough of a question (my bad...), because he answered, "Yes, basically the exact same thing". Not the case. It's not at all the same type of medicine.

Someday I'll feel balanced...?

So no help there, Just feeling sleepy; among other undesirable effects. But at least I tried it, and I can tell the Dr. next week, that this is just not going to happen. I'd rather be swimming in ADD brain than be on this medicine....

Hopefully a month from now I'll find myself happily balancing the things on my mind.

It's not exactly what I had imagined

2011-01-23T13:04:00.000-10:00

Well, it's been an insanely long time since I've written. To be precise, not since Kekito's first day of preschool.

I had built up these images in my head about our first day. Sigh..... It was idyllic- IN MY HEAD, but NOT when it came down to making it a reality. Oh holy moly!

I had hoped to snap a sweet memory of him and his backpack
bouncing off to school (this is the one we got instead).

We had practiced walking to school every day for two weeks. We had practiced wearing his super awesome new "Cars" backpack. We. Were. READY. But apparently, not so much! lol The morning was crazy hysterics; starting from our first step out of the door.

He got a lot better about walking to school, but followed that up, shortly after, with a cold. Ugh. Then the best Mom in the world came to visit as well. So crazy busy, with no chances to write, only time to live.

This week came with all new challenges trying to potty train and explain to him why Grammy was no longer hanging out with us all day!

This last Friday though, I finally had it- my idyllic preschool day! He was over the loss of Grammy to California; we figured out that he didn't want to potty unless he washed his hands before as well as after; and we learned that we needed to walk/run/skip/hop/jump/snake/creep/march to school. ;)

So next week, let's hope I can get back to my bloggy love- writing and reading!!!!!!!!! Missed ya'll! ;)

My personal ADD/Autism update...

2011-01-09T22:36:00.000-10:00

I questioned in November how much ADD is related to Autism. I have looked all over and had not really found any credible, informative answers.

Recently I began seeing a new psychologist to get my ADD diagnosis into my medical records. When I described all my little quirks, he replied, "What you just described sounds a lot like Autism. You don't have Autism, but you mentioned your son does. The thing is, there is a genetic loader for Autism. Nearly all kids with Autism have ADD. So much so, that it is just assumed that it is part of the diagnosis."

Holy cow! That cracked me up that it's been on my mind so much, and then he busts that out. I must have seemed a little crazy, laughing and looking all lit up; but I told him I had been wondering if maybe ADD was in fact at the highest functioning end of ASD.

I explained how I felt that to a small degree I could understand some of the madness that swirls around in K's poor little body at times. ADD symptoms often leave me at the end of my rope it feels like. I can't imagine how much worse it is for K. I am glad though, that it can help me keep perspective sometimes in the midst of a melt down.

My therapist smiled at me and said, "ADD and Autism have so many common traits, and they are so likely to occur either together, or within families. They are very much related, and sort of intertwined. You're right that you probably have a good idea of what goes on in your son's mind".

So anyway, I just wanted to post that tidbit, for those of you who read the last post.

Kekito's Birthday Photos!

2011-01-09T21:58:00.000-10:00

We had a blast at Kekito's 3rd birthday party! Sadly, Kekito woke in the middle of the night with croup cough.... but on the bright side, he was healthy for his party! I can't believe how big he is getting! Tomorrow is his first day of preschool! I'll make sure to post a picture of his walk to school soon. =)

K's birthday cake

Singing made him slightly anxious...

But enduring The Birthday Song was worth it for cake!

We even had a pinata! I'm so jealous!

Yummy!!!

Happy Birthday My Angel Bear!

2010-12-31T22:49:00.000-10:00

So many people celebrate the New Years with champagne & a Times Square ball drop. I celebrate something else entirely- my son's birthday! Three years ago in the hospital as I watched the ball drop, I thought, "What an amazing way to start the new year!"

In our house, "New Year's" doesn't even really exist. Just Kekito's birthday; and I think that's the way it should be. =)

Today was a great day, we got to start breakfast with special Mickey Mouse pancakes, skyping with Grammy and Papa, and blowing out some candles on brownies. This Sunday we'll be having a big old party with pictures to follow!

To Kekito- My angel bear, I am so proud of you! You have SUCH a sparkling personality! You amaze me with your mind... I am so proud of you and all the hard work you've put into therapy this year! You've made amazing leaps and bounds; the sky isn't even your limit!

I am so happy to see you turning three today. I keep imagining the next few years, and I'm so excited to see what happens next!!!

I love you!

Mommy

I used to be one of the "normies"

2010-12-27T23:03:00.002-10:00

I'm about to type out some very honest thoughts that may offend some people if I don't word them correctly... and I probably won't. That's never been my strong suit, so I apologize in advance.

I've been thinking a lot lately about "normies", as Dani (I'm just that way and that's just me) calls them. I used to get so upset by how normies reacted to Kekito, honestly it's still hard sometimes and surely always will be. I am beginning to realize that I totally was one, despite my own ADD related social struggles. I used to feel uncomfortable with people with special needs. I never disliked them, but I see now that I avoided social interaction, or kept it at a minimum. When I was a picture framer (at age 19) there was a hearing impaired couple that came in a few times. I was anxious when I'd see them walk up because I felt so bad not being able to communicate normally. I felt bad for their situation. I was afraid of doing anything offensive like talking to them, out of habit (they were unable to read lips). I was mostly thinking of myself, of course. It had never dawned on me how they felt about the way I acted.

I'm realizing more everyday how "normal" people with special needs are; how much they need normal daily interactions. Just like everyone else. There is a young man at my church with some developmental delay, maybe autism? I've found myself going out of my way to talk to him, and smile genuinely at him. Sadly, I would not have done that before... :( Then there's the hearing impaired cashier at our convenience store, that situation makes me crazy these days. There will be a long line, while hers is empty and she's just watching; waiting. I try to go to her line if I see her. She is truly SUCH a sweet person, but I feel like few others have the chance to notice.

I feel so badly for parts of who I've been in the past- letting fear of the unknown take over. But I am realizing that I had always had good intentions basically. So it is helping me to realize that the people who react some what unfavorably to K's quirks probably don't mean to, or even realize the way it comes across.

A silver lining- I can really appreciate my friends that love K and treat him like just another "normie". I am blessed to have many, but I need to send a special shout out to Sarah, Casey, and Paul whom are in his daily life! Thank you, words will never cover my gratitude for your attitude! ;)

The way I see life is so very different at this place and age, and I am grateful for that. The view is beautiful from where I'm standing.

Pictures from Danny's first birthday!

2010-12-23T22:56:00.003-10:00

This post is going to be dedicated to showing off the Pictures from Danny's first birthday party! Enjoy!

Me and my goofball!

Don't touch the fire!!!!!

Mom, Dad, and our ~~little~~ baby!

It was a blast!!!

Numbers Whiz

2010-12-22T23:16:00.000-10:00

Today was our well check up for both the boys; all is well with Kekito and Danny, YAY!

We couldn't get a completely accurate read on K's height (because a Dr.s office is scary!), but he is finally gaining weight! He's moved up to the 60th percentile there! Danny is at the 75th percentile on both height and weight.

Developmentally, Danny is on track as well, so that makes me a happy mommy!

The crazy part of our day though.... Kekito stunned me yet again with his love of numbers! The developmental questionnaire said to say "seven-three" once to your child to see if they would repeat it back. I knew that wouldn't be a problem considering his Echolalia, but I did it anyway. In the flash of time it took to look down and check "yes", Kekito followed up his "seven-three" with "eight-two, nine-one, ten-zero". All in one breath... no real time spent in thinking it out.

My jaw dropped, and eyes popped. I told him, "Kekito, you amaze me."

I can't believe he made up his own pattern! I'd be shocked as it was if he'd have noticed the pattern from two sets of numbers, but making his own in a split second?! Phew... awesome. I swear his brain is a computer. He may have problems processing anything more than emoticons some days ;) but it seems like he processes consistently factual information like nobody's business!

Baby Danny, it looks like, will be the "jock" of the family! He's already bouncing and throwing balls all over the place! Today he even fought his Daddy for control of the football. =)

Happy Birthday Danny!

2010-12-16T23:07:00.000-10:00

My Danny Boy

My Baby Danny, It's been a very fast year! You've gone from itty-bitty to big ol' cutie in no time! Today I watched you playing with your brother and it hit me just how much you've grown!

Finding out we were being blessed with you was wonderful. The morning sickness wasn't so great... but boy you are worth it! ;) I hope I am giving you enough love and attention! Always you are on my mind, and tugging at my heart strings! I love the way you laugh maniacally! I love that you are a flirt, and how much you love your older brother.

Danny, 1 year old!

I hope that being where you are in the birth order, having to share time with K, doesn't make you feel "shafted" ever. I hope that you will grow up seeing the benefits of your situation. I hope that you will continue to grow up into a passionate, funny, empathetic man someday!

I can't believe that it was one year ago that I was just getting ready to meet you!

Baby Danny, It's been a fabulous year with you! ;)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Baby Danny is Walking!

2010-12-13T21:04:00.000-10:00

Well, I'm a little late posting this video... and it's just a little sideways. Oops... I took it on his second day walking, with the best of intentions! ;)

He's getting really good at it now!!!! I'll put up another video this week- I am writing a little love post for him for his birthday!

A New Name For Sublime...

2010-12-06T02:19:00.001-10:00

As you may have noticed, I've changed my name and switched to my own domain: http://www.sublimedream.com/! YAY!

However, I am thinking my super awesome ;) "following" friends may not be receiving my updates! EEKS! So if you have a chance, you may want to "re-follow" my page at the new address to stay in the know when there's new material!

If you are still seeing dashboard updates under "all new updates", any feedback is greatly appreciated! ;)

"A Room With a View"

2010-12-05T22:22:00.000-10:00

What an awesome day! Sergio has lately been really beginning to understand just how much I need a break from "mommy hood" to just be Jill and let off steam.

So he so thoughtfully decided to surprise me with ~~another~~ spa massage! Although.... I found out that there was more to the surprise. Two weeks ago when we watched "Date Night" he asked why I laughed so hard after Tina Fey said that she didn't fantasize about other men, but rather about being alone in a hotel for a whole day and night. I explained that I had this fantasy several times a month... several times... the exact same one. It was so funny to know I wasn't the only one "fantasizing"! Sergio decided to surprise me with my own fantasy night in Waikiki! Just relaxing, relaxing, and relaxing.

Sadly for me, he didn't realize that even hotel masseurs need appointments. I thought mine was booked by him... oops! But boy, I still have had fun!

On a crazy but related side note.... I missed Kekito's first steps/walking on the one night I went to a hotel in San Francisco. I had always thought, "How crazy is it that I never leave him ever, and the one time I do.... I miss it?!" I knew this time, I would not miss Danny's because I had no one to watch them while I gallivanted about town. So go figure; Sergio books my fantasy suite, and two days ago Danny started taking 3 steps here, 3 steps there.

This morning I told him, "Do not walk while I'm gone. It's one day, so you can wait. Okay? ...Okay!" I kissed my sweet baby boy goodbye for one small day. Less than a couple hours later, guess what text message I got:

"Danny is walking all over the living room". So Sergio and I talk, and yes, he is walking for real. Really Danny? Really?!?!? ;)

So the only response I could come up with was:

"I can't believe they are so intimidated by me that they wait until I'm gone!" Yes, I am going with that! They want so badly to impress me, that they wait until they can perfect it before they show it off for me! It's the only explanation that makes it somewhat OK for me... :)

Tomorrow when I get home, I'll snap up some video of my little wobbly walker to share with you all!

Cooking with kids

2010-12-02T22:29:00.000-10:00

I've been dying for Kekito to want to join me in the kitchen. I have a lot of awesome memories of baking and cooking all sorts of things with my mom when I was about the same age. We were her little helpers; she measured, we poured and stirred. Until our little arms wore out at least.

I've been trying for months to encourage Kekito to help or even just watch.

Today was the day!!! I was in the kitchen making "Pizza bread", and Kekito was endlessly curious! I asked him to help pretend to stir the empty bowl and pat out some dough, and he gladly jumped in!

Man, it sure was a fun day with my little guy! I can't wait for more joint cooking adventures!

Is there an ADD/ADHD Autism connection?

2010-11-24T23:44:00.004-10:00

You may already know that I have been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. I was diagnosed about 8 years ago. That revelation changed my life. All these things that seemed "wrong" about me finally made sense. I always wondered why I wasn't able to live successfully the way other people so easily seemed to. I always messed everything up it seemed. The fever pitch was when I was put on academic probation during my first college stint. I was smart; I always tested well. But trying to pass college classes? Impossible.

I began to read, read, and read up some more on ADD as well as work on behavior modification. That helped immensely. Once I understood how my brain worked, I went on to be very successful in the military as well as college.

Then Kekito came along in 2007. My son progressed beautifully until he was close to a year old. Suddenly, and slowly at the same time, I realized he was "different". At first I thought, "OK, he has ADD". Then it became more apparent that it was actually Autism.

Kekito sharing with me his discovery of Dandelions.

I didn't know much at the time about Autism. The more I learned, the more I pondered the possible connection to ADD/ADHD. There were so many symptoms of Autism that seemed to overlap with my very own diagnosis. So much so, to the point that I found myself googling "Asperger's in adults". I started to wonder if maybe it was Asperger's I had after all. But I knew that couldn't be because I was all too clearly able to empathize with others (Theory of Mind). That is the singular difference I've noticed. That, and the fact that in Autism the symptoms seem tenfold at least.

Day in and day out I wish that I could find some research on the possibility of a connection. I can't help but wonder if ADD is on the highest functioning end of the spectrum.

These are my reasons for wondering:

- They are both neurological disorders that likely have strong genetic factors.
- Both affect the production and levels of various facets of body chemistry.
- Both affect sleeping patterns/behaviors.
- Both affect the ability to relate to others socially.
- Personally, I have an incredibly difficult time understanding sarcasm (just as one would with Autism).
- Both have various sensory processing problems.
- Personally, I have a remarkable memory for various types of facts.
- From what I have seen so far, both are very visual learners/thinkers.

Mommy, you simply must smell this!

I could go on about each of these topics- but I think that's better left for another day, another post.

I really hope someday I can find some sort of research either linking the two together, or conclusively setting them apart. Until then, I'll keep on wondering.

What do you think about the possibility?

Autism IQ Part II

2010-11-23T15:11:00.001-10:00

What a day it was yesterday! I was so exhausted by the end...

We had our eligibility meeting with the public school. After all of K's evaluations and the endless waiting, we were going to find out if he qualified. I was so anxious, and excited all day. A real tight bundle of nerves, that was me non stop.

We got to our meeting and one by one the evaluators crushed my hope of K receiving services. They all agreed that they could not recommend services because he was "too smart". Wow... that sucks. Despite the fact that his self help skills and communication skills were sub par; his academic IQ was exactly on the line separating "average" and "high average". Because Kekito was, "very smart, even for a neurotypical child", then he did not need special education classes.

I stifled my tears for as long as I could. I wanted to just get up and walk out. I hated watching each person tell me with a long face that my son was "academically too far progressed". It was maddening to think that it could keep him from getting the kind of help and skills training he needs.

(Let me explain real quick: Kids "age out" of Early Intervention at 3. If they don't qualify for special education, then they don't have an opportunity again for services until Kindergarten at age 5. An *awesome* two year gap in which to regress, or make little progress.)

The last two people to speak at our "round table discussion" were K's social worker Sarah, and I. She told them that if they didn't accept him because he "knew too much" that it would be unfairly punishing the both of us for working so hard this whole last year (can I get an AMEN!?).

Then it came to me. They asked, "Why do you think he needs this if his IQ is so high? What academic need could there possibly be?"

My response went something like this:
"He has Autism, so he needs to be in an environment where he can be socialized with his peers. He needs specialists to help him progress in all the areas where his IQ was lacking. If I send him to a regular preschool, they won't likely be equipped to handle his temperament. They don't choose to work specifically with special needs children. They won't necessarily have the patience to handle a child like K. Nor do they positively have the specialized skills to help him the way he needs to learn. I'd rather keep him at home than chance those things. Kekito needs to learn especially how to communicate with his peers. He is dying to make friends. He desperately wants to be included in activities. When he plays with other kids...."

And then it happened. My mind played the videos in my head of all the times kids pushed him, kicked him, or screamed in his face to "Go away! Leave me alone!" And his oblivious response was always to hug them more, chase them more, love them more. It is probably the hardest thing I have come across so far with Autism It is the thing that devastates me the most. Endless tears have been shed at those sights.

With my face soaked, voice and body vibrating inside; I continued, "When he plays with them they scream at him, they shove him, they kick him. And all he does is hug them, lay on them, or smile an inch from their face. He is relentless... and so are they. It is devastating to see. At some point he will realize that they can't stand him. He needs the chance now to learn to fit in."

My, how a desperate woman blubbering like an idiot must guilt people. It absolutely was not my intention. I tried so hard to hold it together. But I simply couldn't. I felt like the BIGGEST moron, but it was just that painful.

Luckily, his new teacher was the first to point out that she thought that was an important skill for academic learning. Then one by one the evaluators all started piping in with phrases like, "Oh, yeah, yeah, that's important! I think that's an academic need. They need to fit in with their peers to learn. Yeah, he's got an academic need". Hmmmm.... I was grateful to the one educator who started this wave of agreement. Until that moment, it was as though I was watching everything in slow motion.

So I'm guessing, sadly, the water works got him accepted. When we left, I was telling Sarah how stupid I felt. She told me, "Don't feel stupid! I was SO excited when you started crying! They weren't going to take him otherwise. I've never seen a child with an autism diagnosis not be immediately accepted before! But they were not going to accept him until you lost it. So it's a good thing." Oh thank you so much Miss Sarah for making me feel slightly less stupid! :) I'm sure the board of people think I am overly emotional wreck.

It's a sad policy in my opinion. Either Early Intervention needs to be extended through age 5 or, any child with a diagnosed disability (helloooo?!) should be accepted into special education classes... PERIOD.

Austism IQ

2010-11-20T06:56:00.000-10:00

Can I find the words to tell you how proud I am today? Probably not.

My son has recently undergone a huge round of evaluations in hopes of being accepted into special education preschool. He was tired, crabby, and fairly uncooperative for them overall. I was so anxious to see what the results would be.

I got my results in the mail yesterday! I am proud to report ....drum roll please... they found his IQ to be on the lower side of average for his age! All despite how much he was ignoring many of his everyday actions they requested of him.

Having Autism he, of course, tested as low as 18 months on some skills (His chronological age was 35 months), but on others he tested into the 5-6 years age range. My boy has mad memory and number skills....

I am left still hoping and praying he'll be accepted into the preschool, and will find out this Monday. I definitely want him to go to preschool there because they understand the disorder, know how to best help him, and chose to do this for a living. I can't be so sure of any of that with a typical school! Although, I do hope for him to attend K-12 typically.

I'll let you all know on Monday what fate has in store for us!

Photo courtesy of...

A love letter to my sons

2010-11-10T23:05:00.001-10:00

Kekito and Danny,

I love you so much more than you know. It is true that you cannot understand until you are a parent. It is life changing, the biggest game changer there is. My love for you is so immense and consuming. I could sit and stare at you forever as you sleep or roll around laughing on the floor. All the while my eyes would pour tears and tears of joy. And I will forever thank God for the gift of you. It's happened many times already...

I feel very badly on the days that I don't have enough patience for you. But you need to know that my love is never lessened on those days. On the contrary, it really does grow more and more each day. Every smile you flash wraps me further around your finger. I wouldn't have it any other way!

You are the loves of my life, and I will try my hardest to be there for you everyday. I will try to be strong for you on the days you need to cry. Even though it will rip my heart to shreds to see you go through hard times, I will always do my best to be your rock and give you support to the ends of the Earth.

www.freedigitalphoto.com

I will do my best to understand each of you as individuals and learn how your minds work; though I'll never fully get to see inside. I hope that you'll feel comfortable sharing your thoughts with me. I promise I will do my best never to judge you.

I can promise that I'll never be a perfect mom. I'll fall short often, and by great distances. But I will always, always, always try. I will do my best to teach you about love, life, and laughter. And I will do what I think is best for you, even if it's harder for me.

All of my love is yours forever,
Mommy

...That's what little boys are made of...

2010-11-04T22:09:00.000-10:00

I found prince charming!

Remember the nursery rhyme that says, "Frogs, and snails, and puppy dog tails"? Well, my little munchkins made up two of those three for Halloween this year! I didn't think of it until the next day. Upon pointing that coincidence out to Sergio, he suggested just one more baby boy. That way Kekito could be the snail next year! =)

But I'm good with just the frog and dog! They are absolutely wonderful, and more than enough...

K LOVED Halloween this year!

We took Kekito for his first ever "trick-or-treating" this year (Danny came along to watch), and he had a great time. There was a bit of a meltdown getting into costumes, but not one while going house to house (Yay!). Granted, we only trick-or-treated at four houses in complete daylight. But it worked! No major freak outs means next year we may get to push it further!

I hope every one had a Happy Halloween! Here comes Thanksgiving! (yessss!!!!) Post inspiration provided by SITS!

A squash is a squash?

2010-11-02T00:44:00.000-10:00

Our Halloween creations!

So we realized this year that getting a pumpkin in Hawaii is a feat. Or at least the kind of thing you have to plan ahead for. I saw the pumpkins in the supermarket a few weeks ago and thought, "Psh! We're going to the pumpkin patch!" Well.... we went to the pumpkin patch on the second day it opened and.... NO pumpkins left! Eeek! Well what is a mommy to do??? My sister told me to carve a butternut squash. I think she was joking. But I did it. AND IT WAS SO CUTE! It was a pain to carve, but I think I may do one from now on! I love the shape of it- so unique! We also had to carve our little decoration pumpkin- Now I'm glad I went nuts buying pumpkins for Kekito this year. Otherwise we'd have had the lone Butternut.

Our other Halloween creation was a bundle of window decorations made from construction paper! Kekito had so much fun coloring them all in. And even more fun peeking at them through the window everyday!

What fun things did you make this year???

What a difference a year makes!

2010-10-30T21:50:00.001-10:00

My ONE photo with eye contact that Halloween...

It's hard to believe that just one year ago, I could not get a photo of my son's whole face, let alone one with a smile! I would twist and turn at every angle to try to get a shot of his face. Mr. K constantly avoided eye contact. So many of my pictures at the time are serious side shots of his face. We also have many pictures of him moving around when I was too slow with the camera button... in my awkward positions. The evidence is below (I call it the "Godzilla" picture ;) We started Early Intervention about a week or so after Halloween. Best week of our lives!

Now my little Kekito is a total cheese ball! He will bring me my camera and pose up all cute with a big grin and say, "CHEESE!!!" If you don't take a picture, he'll tell you to! Over and over...

Take a look at our successful picture this year:

I can't wait to see how much he'll love Halloween this time around!!!!!!!

Post inspiration provided by the Halloween Party at SITS!

Remembering Self Care!

2010-10-29T07:54:00.001-10:00

Hey everyone, here is a post written by my friend Chris over at "A Crazy Kind Of Faith". She is a mom to two beautiful children, one of whom (Kai) has Autism Spectrum Disorder. We decided to swap writings about how we remember to take care of ourselves, because taking care of others starts with making sure we are prepared to do the best we can!

Taking care of ourselves is usually not something we women do very well, and I tend to think that when parenting a child with special needs we seem to do a worse job of taking care of ourselves. After all, we have therapy appointments to attend, doctor appointments, IEP meetings, insurance issues to contend with, and the list goes on and on. We can easily become so consumed with all of the caretaking that we forget to take good care of ourselves.

I remember hearing about the concept of self care when I was in graduate school for social work. A term that was frequently thrown around was caregiver burnout, or secondary trauma. It is not uncommon for folks who are so “other” focused to become depressed and fatigued…particularly in situations where we are working through difficult circumstances. While self care is always a good idea in theory, it is seldom really encouraged in the workplace. Reality sinks in….and there are always more “fires” to put out.

Having a child with special needs is not like having a job, however. It can CONSUME every aspect of your life if you let it. You cannot “leave it at the office.” There is no turning off motherhood-- if our kiddo struggles with sleep issues, emotional regulation, or a bout of the flu… SO DO WE. It’s just par for the course! There’s no saying “I’m outta here!” at the end of the day….that is, unless we have a spouse or significant other who is willing to step up to the plate (at least for a while!) I am lucky enough to have a husband who can and will take the kids for me, so I can “do my thing.” The trouble is, I’m still always THINKING about my son, even when I’m doing other things (I have to get better with that!)

One of the buzz phrases that has become en vogue recently is extraordinary parenting. Extraordinary parenting = more than ordinary, above and beyond what is “normal”, exceeding the “typical” parenting experience. It is not part of a job description or even an expectation. It is just something we DO when walking the journey with our SN children.

Consequently, I have decided to begin “walking the walk” of self care. I have taken it upon myself to set aside three days per week to exercise and attend yoga, as well as putting a lot more effort into healthy cooking and drinking plenty of water. It doesn’t hurt to load up on foods rich in Omega 3 fatty acids to help combat depression, especially here in Wisconsin where the winters are long, cold and gray! I’ve started looking for some creative outlets (such as blogging) to pour my creative energies into. It is amazing how much more revitalized I can feel just from giving myself permission to self-nurture.

My son was really my inspiration to begin my OWN self-care journey. He is on the autism spectrum, and recently has begun ABA therapy 25 hours per week (in addition to early childhood special education classes in the mornings). It is no picnic for him….but we have every reason to believe that the outcomes will be well worth the effort. SO, I thought I would also use this time as an opportunity to create and adhere to my own schedule and eat a healthy diet to sustain optimal mental, spiritual and physical health. When my kiddo is struggling, I want to be in tip top shape in all of those areas.

Someone told me recently that parenting a child with special needs is very much like running a marathon. Just as marathon runners cannot “go the distance” without appropriate training, I cannot expect to give my best to my children without being the best I can be.

Chris blogs about family life, special needs, adoption, and the excitement of having a child on the autism spectrum at: http://www.acrazykindoffaith.blogspot.com/

If you'd like to read the post hosted by Chris's page, click here!

Don't forget to enter my AVON giveaway- It's my thank you for reading my blog!

Post it note tuesday

2010-10-26T07:55:00.001-10:00

So here are my four favorite status updates from friends this week:

Don't forget to enter my AVON giveaway!

And the winner is.....

2010-10-23T22:05:00.004-10:00

Hello everyone! I've got my first give away ready for my blog. It's something I've given a test run of myself, and I have nothing but rave reviews!

It's Avon Anew Clinical Stretch Mark Smoother. A $25.00 value that could be yours, free. I can't sing it's praises enough! According to Avon:

In 2 weeks: 75% of women showed a visible improvement in length & depths of their oldest stretch marks.

In 4 weeks: 86% of women showed an improvement in the skin tone of their stretch marks.

In 8 weeks: 91% of women showed an improvement in the appearance of cellulite.

I've used it twice daily for two weeks and have noticed great results already. it was recommended to me by my sister-in-law who also had great results. I'm hooked for sure! After my second pregnancy, I had some stretch marks I definitely wouldn't be showing off in a bikini, but it looks like that's changing!

If you'd like a chance to win, there are a few ways to enter!

1) Leave a comment about why you'd like to win this product.
2) Follow my blog using Google Friend Connect or RSS feed. Or leave one telling me if you already follow.

3) Subscribe to my post by email. Or let me know that you already do!
4) "Like' this post on Facebook or "Tweet" it on Twitter.

For options 2-4 leave a separate comment for each letting me know what you did. I'll be using a random number generator to pick a winner from the comments! Leave your email address and I will also notify you by email so you can easily and privately provide your shipping address!

The winner will be selected and posted on 31 October and will have two days to provide a shipping address. If the deadline passes, a runner up will be selected.

Contest is open to all US residents.

(This product give away is furnished by myself, and my review has in no way been influenced by Avon.)

And lucky number 9 makes Catherine Agnes the winner! I'll shott you an email too Catherine!

To everyone that entered, thanks you for participating! But thank you most of all for your readership! I value your time and thoughts, and hope you'll enjoy the posts that follow until the next giveaway!

I'm "guest blogging today", first time ever!

2010-10-23T21:39:00.000-10:00

So I was just saying... "THIS is the essence of Danny".

Guess what everyone! It's my first day as a guest blogger! And I'm blogging in two places. Funny how that worked out! Well I hope that you enjoy my picture of my little cutie Danny Boy, and stop by my friend's blogs to browse through and to read my guest blogs as well!

Me and my Boys by Jen

A Crazy Kind of Faith by Chris

Both of these beautiful moms are mothers to children with special needs, and they are a part of a great support network that's growing together! ;) (Shout out spring chickens!-Woot Woot!)

Post-It Note tuesdays

2010-10-19T09:29:00.000-10:00

I saw the cutest "Post-it note" posts on Three Peas in a Pod last week and fell in love with them! Immediately I realized that I just had to be a poser! ;)

For my Post-it note Tuesdays, I've decided to post my favorite Facebook posts of the week. A lot of times there is something I post up there that isn't quite enough on it's own to warrant a blog post. Sometimes it's something funny that happened, often it's something the boys did that I am uber proud of! This week I'm putting up all my own posts. But I'm going to start keeping track of all my friend's posts that crack me up or catch my interest this week and start including those! So here goes with my first Post-it note Tuesday:

Which of your own social network posts were your favorites? I'd LOVE to hear! ;)

Lessons I Never Asked To Learn

2010-10-15T05:54:00.002-10:00

I’m honored that Jill asked me to guest post for her today! My name is Jennie. I am a stay at home mom to a toddler and a preschooler, who, for blogging purposes, I call Moe. He is three and has autism.

Jill asked me if I would write about what I’ve learned since Moe’s diagnosis, which was just over a year ago. Despite the increase in autism diagnoses, and therefore attention paid to autism, many people don’t really understand what it means to have an autistic child. So here is a list of some of the things I’ve learned. Some are about autism specifically, while some are about me and our new place in the world.

1. Autism is not just one thing: I knew that autism was a “spectrum” disorder, meaning that some kids were higher functioning than others. Before I knew kids with autism, I always thought of this more like a cold – it might be mild or it might be severe but it is basically going to look like the same thing. But autism is not like that. One kid might be incredibly sensitive to lights and noise, never want to be touched, and learn to read by age 2. Others, like my son, don’t talk but are all about hugs and snuggles. These kids couldn’t be more different, but they are both autistic.

2. Autism is a disability: I didn’t really think of kids with autism as having “special needs” in the same way that kids with other disabilities have special needs. It took me a while to realize that kids with autism are definitely special needs kids (or your preferred term), and that – important distinction - I am a now parent to a special needs child. As big an identity shift as it was going from “Jennie” to “Mom,” this shift was much harder.

3. Autism affects everything: I knew, at least at a basic level, that autism affected the social communication pieces of a child’s development. But I didn’t know that many kids with autism also have trouble with fine motor skills, gross motor skills and sensory processing. Toilet training can be especially challenging and often happens late. Many autistic children, including mine, have major sleep issues that can last into adulthood. And the stress that comes with all of this will bleed into your marriage, your family life, your social life, everything.

4. Autistic traits may change over time: When my son was first diagnosed, he didn’t have many behaviors typically associated with autism, like hand flapping or other stimming behaviors, echolalia (repeating words back without really understanding their meaning), or adherence to rigid routines. I asked our doctor if that meant he would never have them, and the answer was “maybe.” Some behaviors come and go while others are there from the start and never leave. Still others may never appear.

5. You will never know if you did the right things: There are a lot of different behavioral interventions out there, including ABA, Floortime, PRT, and Son Rise. There is occupational therapy, speech therapy, and integrated playgroups. There are diets to try, biomedical interventions, recreation therapy, music therapy, and a host of other things you can try. You can surround yourself with professionals that you trust but they can only make suggestions. As the parent of a child with autism, you are ultimately responsible for making the decisions as to what you will do, and you will never really know if the choices you made were the right ones. You will question yourself every day.

6. You are not alone: This is the most important lesson to learn. Know that there are others going through the same experience and they are a loving, supportive, and helpful group of individuals. At first I didn’t want to meet other autism families because I was scared of what I might see. This is a mistake; don’t isolate yourself. Seek out others, read their blogs, join their forums. Go to autism events. The people you meet will save your life.

You can read more about Jennie at her blog, Anybody Want A Peanut? She also writes for Hopeful Parents, and was recently featured at Support For Special Needs.

6 hours used to be enough...

2010-10-13T06:32:00.000-10:00

Waking up before the sun,
That's how we do it here....

I used to function just fine on 6 hours of sleep. I'm trying to figure out why it now seems impossible. I'm thinking it's the timing of the day. I'm not sure why waking up at 4:45 am is harder than waking up at 6:00 am when it's only 6 hours of sleep either way. But it really is. Maybe having the sun wake up before I do helps?

My boys these days are conspiring against me. I am sure of it. They take turns terrorizing me at night... and I am LONGING for the day I can't drag them out of bed. I find myself often fantasizing about the things I'll get done on that magical day.

Until then, it's not so bad waking up this early when I see Kekito smacking kisses at me from the couch and saying "kacowate miwlk" (chocolate milk) over and over.... But check back with me in a couple hours- that high may have faded by then. ;)

Mother's intuition

2010-10-12T15:35:00.001-10:00

My goal with this blog is to blog about all sorts of things in my life. I don't intend for it to turn into a blog purely about Autism. I'm down with blogs aimed that direction (I read a few myself), but still this isn't my intent. Just wanted to throw that out there. ;)

I blog about what's on my mind and about the things that catch my interest. Lately, however, Autism has been a large part of that. There have been so many things I've wanted to post up on here about Autism in our lives. But with out an official diagnosis up until recently, I didn't want the hassle of people telling me I was being paranoid. Now that I can say whatever I want to say... there's just so much to say!

"A clue! A clue!" His imagination is
blooming!

One thing I've mulled over a lot in my mind is "mother's intuition" (or "women's intuition"- whatever's clever). I'm curious to hear what everyone else thinks about it. Do you believe it's a real phenomenon? Why or why not?

Here's the thing: the entire time I was pregnant with Kekito, I had a gut feeling that he would be Autistic. The few people I told tried to reassure me that I was just being overly worried. But it didn't feel like a worry. It felt like it was just a fact. Looking back now, I feel like it was God's way of preparing me.

K's creative lately:
He made his own "Blues Clues"!

I began noticing Kekito's Autism when he was about 10 months old. I went back and forth with "is it?" or isn't it?". I wanted so badly to believe that it was not Autism slowly stealing him away. But I kept remembering back to those pregnancy memories. The only reason I think I even noticed it that young was because I kept looking and looking for it. I was very sure he would have it. The first few months of Kekito's life, I actually felt a lot of surprise and relief that he was completely average.

We are so blessed that we were able to get intervention for him at such a young age. I shudder to imagine the different boy he'd likely be today had we not acted on our suspicions. He had very little interest in us, no words, and no eye contact. Now he is literally like sprinkled sunshine in my day (most days). ;) Always quick to grab my attention and show me all the little things he's learned. He's very proud of himself, and I'm so proud of him too!

So any brushes with your own intuition? I'd love to hear!

Reaching goals!

2010-10-09T07:28:00.000-10:00

Oh how exciting the last couple days have been! Kekito has been learning so much. Up until now whatever question you asked, he'd repeat back without an answer (Echolalia).

In our current IEP, one of our four goals was to have him be able to answer 4 questions (other than yes or no) with one word answers. We decided to try to work on things that will help him socially like, "What's your name?". Although it wasn't on our IEP, I was also hoping for him to learn how to answer yes or no questions as well.

Well guess what!!! In the last two days he has learned to answer THREE questions. 1) "What's your name?" 2) "How old are you?" 3) "Where do you live?" (I figured this last one is always good to know)... I just have to share this cute video with you all:

I only wish I could include him saying our address- it is adorable but obviously not such a great idea. Since we live in Hawaii, most of the street names are Hawaiian. Hearing a toddler attempt such a mouthful puts a huge grin on your face.

I am brimming over with pride! I am beyond ecstatic with his achievements. Oh, and the cherry on top? It looks like he's finally figured out how the "yes" answer works! Of course he's known how to say no for a long time now. But today he has answered "yes" appropriately to several questions.

Sigh.... I love my babies! I think I'll always call them my babies. It's so nice on the days when you can clearly see all the hard work Kekito, his therapists, and I do paying off! I am stoked to see the awesome young man he grows into!

I'm in love with StoryCorps!

2010-10-01T22:15:00.005-10:00

Wow. That's mostly all I can say about these amazing videos. StoryCorps is one of the coolest things I've seen! They speak for themselves, I'll leave you to the videos...

Warning: They may jerk a few tears...

Calling all Commissary shoppers!

2010-09-30T22:54:00.000-10:00

So saving money seriously makes me high! (So does spending money, but that's another story...) And I love to share all my money saving tips with everyone. Whether they care or not... I guess it enhances the high. ;) So I share now with you, my best tip for saving money on groceries.

In my last two grocery store trips, I saved a total of $76.00 in coupons. Amazing right?! So I'm going to let you in on how.

I've always been a coupon user. From the time I was 5 or 6, I'd clip my dad's coupons for him every Sunday. He'd read the paper while I read to him the deals; he'd answer yea or nay, and I clipped accordingly. A little nugget of wisdom he passed on to me then: "No matter how great the savings a coupon offers, it's only saving money if you'd buy it anyway".

When you buy the Sunday paper, it's a crap shoot. I mean yeah, there are coupon preview sites which help, but there are variances place to place. And let's face it, some weeks you may only save $3.00. The paper is going to eat at least $2.00 of that savings. Then you need to go through and do all the clipping... Ugh. But I still always did it because overall, it was a good amount of savings.

I was always a casual coupon user, but really started getting into couponing back in New Jersey. As a stay at home mom on a budget it was a lot more important; but also a lot easier at the commissary. At the commissary the prices are amazing! Yeah, I know there's a surcharge (WTH?!), but there's no sales tax... so I always just look it as that. Normally it's hard to get a great price on name brands even with coupons. At the commissary however, it's cake! Then came coupons.com, smartsource.com, and redplum.com. And Sunday papers from the Dollar Tree! Score! Not to mention the coupons all over the commissary.

But once I got to Hawaii, Dollar Tree was no longer an option, and the Sunday coupons here really blew. I was at a loss as to how to keep my savings high going, and my budget under control. I did a little online surfing for coupons and discovered... wait for it... EBay. Duh. I guess I had always thought of it as some place where crazy people sold junk. But no... there are coupons! It's not legal to sell coupons, but you can charge people for your time and efforts in collecting coupons! lol So get this, you can get 100 coupons (in the average packet) for $2.00 (including shipping). Let's recap: You get so many more coupons without the annoying clipping for the same price as the Sunday paper! Killer! I do still use the online coupon sites too!

So my shopping trip today cost me $4.00 in EBay fees, which made for an overall savings of $35.50. Saving even an average of $20.00 a trip would save $520.00 a year! (Helloooo Ipod touch I've been jonesing for!) I spent $240.00 and walked away with 2 full shopping carts, including: 2 cans of Enfamil, 2 cases of diapers, (those alone would normally run $80.00 right there!) and other higher ticket items. And remember, these are Overseas prices! So imagine how much you could lower your bill too!

If you know other commissary shoppers that would like to know about this nifty thrifty tip, hit the facebook or twitter buttons at the bottom of this post to share the tip! And if you have any saving tips to share with other readers, leave a comment!

Fall is here!

2010-09-28T21:58:00.002-10:00

Dboy in his froggy get up

Ahh.... I love fall! I can't put the feeling into words. Fall brings so many wonderful things! Crunchy leaves, spicy beverages (I love you Starbucks!), crunchy rainbow leaves under your feet, costumes, pumpkins, candy, and best of all... FALL TELEVISION PREMIERES! I am love, love, loving all the premieres!

K the lovable puppy

I've always said t.v. is "the devil" (remember "Waterboy"?)... lol it sucks me in so badly! I've always loved a good escape from reality. A good mystery, thrill, laugh. With things as chaotic as they've been lately, fall couldn't have come at a better time!

Among my favorites this year: Parenthood, Glee, NCIS, Desperate Housewives, Modern family, and Cougar town. So have they sucked you into too?

Kekito stuffing his face last year with Reeces

Seriously though, I think the highlight I'm most looking forward to is Halloween. It's my favorite "holiday". I loved the magic of pretending to be something neat each year. Now getting to see my boys have that same fun is somehow even better! This year I think Kekito will finally be able to really enjoy Trick or treating! Last year his bedtime was before sunset, and we only got to go out on a little walk in his Elmo costume. He did get lucky though- someone ran out a Reece's cup for him! This year he is so social, and I can just imagine how much he's going to enjoy parading around in his puppy costume. Already he's wanting to wear it for hours around the house!

Now all I have to do is negotiate with the hubs who gets to take him out on the first round!

Pure genius: The mama dramas

2010-09-21T23:47:00.002-10:00

The mama dramas... Go check on it! For real, it's pure awesomeness. If you are a mommy, wife (& wives to be), or husband, then I hereby demand it.

Mama blogger Mary is hilarious! She and her husband created their first episode of their new web series, "The Mama Dramas" loosely based on her life. Her web series "Mama Mary Show" is equally entertaining!

The first episode finds Mary and her husband going out on date night. She provides entertaining tips & quips. And my favorite part- the self professed Twitter addict makes a deal with her husband that if he catches her checking her Twitter on her beloved IPhone one more time... BJs every night for a week! Oh snap! Hilarious... I am dying for the next episode already!

I won't spoil how that one ends for you- go watch it... now! ;) ENJOY!

"When I grow up" I want to work for Early Intervention

2010-09-21T14:08:00.001-10:00

So I've been trying to figure out "what I want to be when I grow up" for a long time now. I've bounced ideas around like crazy. As a child I wanted 5 different careers all at once. When I was 19 I decided I really wanted to be a teacher and have an impact on lives at the high school level. I felt for a long time that that was what I was meant to do.

When I got out of the military and began to pursue a degree. Going to online school was my only real option at the time. Of the credible schools I could afford, teaching just wasn't going to be a choice. So I was back to the drawing board. Determined to get my degree finally over with I decided to get a business degree and hope I could work in some capacity with the Veteran's Administration. The one thing I knew for sure at this point was that I wanted to help people for a living. But even the idea of working with the VA wasn't entirely fulfilling to me. I really had a desire to help young people, knowing that I would essentially play a part in changing their futures; hopefully for the better.

Well wouldn't you know that Autism has turned out to be a huge blessing for me? I had never once thought of working with special needs babies and toddlers. Working with K's first teacher, seeing how much she changed his life, our life, and his future got me thinking. After the problems arose with K, school was put on the back burner. It quickly became clear that I'd have to wait until he was in school before I could begin to finish my own. As much as I want to get it done now it's freed me up to attend a brick and mortar school later; thus giving me greater options. I decided once and for all that I want to work for Early Intervention. I think this close encounter has given me my calling.

What brings me to writing about this today? I spoke with the child psychologist who diagnosed K and she told me she's never seen a mom work so diligently, thoroughly, or effectively with their child. She then told me that she hoped that when my boys were in school maybe I would consider getting a degree and working for Early Intervention. I laughed and told her that was absolutely already my intention. She said that was good because I seemed to have a knack for it and have first hand experience now. She said they are always looking for this, "because there's just no substitute for that when someone is just starting out, and you just can't teach that".

Hope that doesn't sound like tooting my own horn- that's totally not my intention. Publishing this makes me worry about that because I've never been good at getting my points across the right way, lol. It's just that her comments made me grin ear to ear! Having her professional experience validate my potential competence to do this work for a living utterly made my day! I had to just get out my excitement somehow! So why not shout it to the world?

For more on Early childhood intervention... click here

Monday funday!

2010-09-20T22:51:00.003-10:00

Today was a really fun day for us. We went to my niece's 3rd birthday party, and it was great! She got lots of awesome toys... which K will thoroughly enjoy : P (and will cause many screeching matches to come).

K enjoying some birthday frosting

Days like this make me feel blessed to have my little bit of family here on the island. Technically Saree is not my sister. Not by blood. But in every other way. We met at just 7 years old when we moved next door to each other. From then on we were inseparable! Even down to our extended family members we've become forever intertwined.

We've maintained an insanely close bond through cross country moves, long separations, both our military careers & our husband's military careers (and all the PCSing that entails...), babies, love, and heartaches. We've been there through it all for each other conquering any time, distance, or space.

Being isolated on an island, I can't tell you the blessing it is to be just a hop skip and a jump away from family. Having someone who knows me to the core to laugh with, cry with, and share all life's struggles with is amazingly therapeutic! All I can say is God sure does know what he's doing! While my family couldn't pick up and follow me when I needed it... God put me across a continent, and across an ocean with someone just as special!

K and my nephew at the party.

Saree- Thank you for being my rock these days with all the madness and stress. Thank you for making me laugh until I think I might pee my pants!

To all my other amazing friends- Wishing so much you could be here with me too! I appreciate deeply all your love and support over the years. My life has been so blessed by so many. If I had the energy left in me, I'd write an ode to you all! ;)

Point is: There's something special about the friends you call family- because you choose to call them family. I challenge everyone to take the time today to tell a close friend how meaningful they are in your life! It may just make their day to know they are treasured.

From "G.I. Jane" to mommy mechanic

2010-09-18T16:17:00.000-10:00

Me on top of a KC-10 back in the day

So there I was in the kitchen taking apart my son's mag-na-doodle, and desperately trying to keep it from his prying eyes. I knew that if he saw it my day would be shot and he'd be asking me to draw "clues" (Thanks Steve, Joe, & Blue...) on a broken doodler.

I stood there trying to figure out how best to fix the broken components and unscrewing various pieces when my muscle memory triggered thoughts of being a mechanic on KC-10 aircraft. I thought how funny it was that I went from changing tires dang near as big as I am to fixing all these little broken gadgets. What a change of pace my life has taken in the last few years... I went from chasing after jets shouting, "I'll get the oil!", to chasing after a toddler and a baby screaming, "Get that out of your mouth... NOW!"

KC-10 in a desert sunrise

When I realized I couldn't fix it without the super glue I don't have, my heart sunk. In that moment I realized how much I love chasing after my boys and how much I love making them happy. Be it fixing their toys, baking cupcakes, or... (dare I say it?) even drawing "clues".

Sure, being a full time stay at home mom can be rough, but I think that all the little smiles, cuddles, and the memories they are making make it all worthwhile. I've been wanting to get back to work lately, but I'm thinking now it had better wait until K has done all his work with his skills trainer and is off to preschool. I've survived being a full time mommy mechanic thus far; I think I can stick it out until January!

...And that's why I Blog!

2010-09-17T06:45:00.002-10:00

Danny Boy, 9 months

So over there at SITs site today is day number 5 of the "Back to Blogging Week". The theme for the day is to answer the question: "Why do I blog?".

I've actually asked my self this a lot. Especially after taking two long breaks from it and then returning two times! I started this on a lark when my friend Lesley told me about her blog and suggested that I might really love one and should start it.

Life got really busy about that time. I was newly pregnant with Danny Boy and just starting to realize that maybe my oldest son wasn't "neuro-typical". We went on a long excursion to California which severely limited my computer access- so there's the first break in my blogging adventure. The second break started (and lasted a very very long time) when Kekito started Early intervention. I was so desperate for his outlook to improve that I poured all of my time into his therapies. Well... all the time I wasn't exhausted at least, my last pregnancy really wiped me out badly.

So once the dust started to settle after Danny Boy was born I realized that I had been thinking of my blog over and over both times I was away. It was something I missed. It was something I was not content to just stop doing forever.

So it made me ask why am I doing this? What I really think most is that even if no one is reading, it makes me feel heard. It's like my own little diary were I can put all my thoughts into the world; my catharsis. It's amazing to be able to look back at everything and be able to be proud of something I've accomplished for myself- lately I've really lost myself in motherhood, marriage, and autism. I've had zero time for me and have lately been feeling like I am mourning the loss of "Jill as we knew her". But getting back into blogging and keeping it up(!) are really helping me to re-establish that time an sense of being. I love being able to look back and see what all has gone on in my life. I like seeing how my son has improved; how much both my boys have grown.

Blogging is something I love and will continue doing for me and my family! And hopefully 1 or 2 interested readers.

My inspiration has a first name... it's M-o-M-m-Y...

2010-09-16T09:18:00.002-10:00

Continuing with the SITs Girls "Back to Blogging" theme, I am writing today about the woman who most inspires me. While there are so many woman who greatly inspire me and whom have impacted my life; none are quite like my mom.

She is one of 12 kids- that right there is amazing! And she truly has the patience of a saint.

She met my dad on a blind date just before she turned 16, and they are still in love today (a whole other inspiring story). She has taught me how to love. How to love God; how to love your partner in life; how to love your children; how to love friends; how to love even those who are less desirable to have in your life. Love is the most important part of our human experiences; and this I learned in great part from her.

Being a mom now has given me a whole other insight to how patient she is. I always admired that about her, but now it's multiplied immeasurably. Mothering a toddler with Autism has been extremely challenging and so much of the way I cope and manage his daily interactions are based on the life lessons learned from mom. She is a Registered Nurse and takes care of people day in and day out. Her whole life is devoted to helping others. Once she was given a little plaque that said, "Nurses have real patience". I like that play on words, because it is unbelievably true of my mom. I actually think of that plaque often. I remember it at least once a month when I consider my mom and her gift of great patience. I've complimented her many times on it, and the funny thing is she is so humble and often says she really doesn't think her patience is so great. If she only knew. Maybe me putting this out to the whole world will help her to really believe how much I mean it!

I look back now on all the things she did for us growing up, like teaching us to bake, clean, and take care of ourselves, and so many other things and realize now how much work it is to be responsible for another human's life and outcome!

My greatest goal in life is to mother my sons and be appreciated half as much as my mom has succeeded.

Making it official!

2010-09-15T07:08:00.000-10:00

Yesterday was a game changer. Kekito was OFFICIALLY diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder.

It's amazing what a relief it was to have the psychologist emphatically say that it was obvious and to immediately start him on 10 hours a week with a skills trainer.

Obviously, it's not that I am glad the is has Autism, but I am so glad that he is going to finally get more therapy! Also it just feels like a weight off my shoulders. The "what if I'm wrong" somehow? I didn't want to be the crazy person convinced my son was autistic then turn out wrong; because I would have felt really badly for selling him short of his abilities. I don't think I am saying this right. Sigh.... Anyway, so many people in my life that did not get to see him regularly have seemingly tried to make me feel nuts for feeling like I knew he had it. The thing is that at this point, after all the work we've done at such an early age, he is very high functioning. I'm sure the people in my life meant well, they probably thought they were reassuring me. In reality it made me feel paranoid. But I kept thinking to myself, I am the only person in his entire life who has spent this much time with him; we need to figure this out.

I am so glad I've stuck through this far, and with the progress he's made so far, I think his future looks so bright... "I'll need sunglasses" ;) Really though. Going from nonverbal and non responsive before the iron fix and Early Intervention, the difference is astounding and encouraging!

If you ever have concerns for your baby's development, don't hesitate to call EI (birth-3). Even if all it does is give you piece of mind! The earlier the intervention, the better the result in most cases!

wow, I could have had another pregnancy almost complete since my last post

2010-09-13T21:30:00.002-10:00

Here is a post I wish had been read more. Not sure totally why. But I guess mostly I want to make sure others are aware of the things I was not; and to re-assure moms who second guess their guts like I did.

It's been awhile yet again. Life has been up and down. I guess keeping up with this has been an overwhelming thought for me. =)
I have no free time really, so I guess that would be why.

Since my last post- right about that time actually- K started the Early Intervention program. Every moment I've had since then has been spent working with him and his therapy strategies.

He appeared to have many autistic traits; which is how it all began. Since working on the intervention, he has made leaps and bounds! He is now mostly caught up developmentally. He is behind in some areas but not enough to be considered a delay any longer.

At first I thought he was 100% improved (by my standards he is 500% improved!), but upon seeing him with many of his peers I believe he does have High Functioning Autism. I think had we not had the intervention it would have been worse. Even just looking at pictures now, I feel like I am looking at a different person I knew in another life. Before EI he wasn't making any eye contact. VERY few of our pictures have him looking into the lens. The few there are, are ones I had to twist and contort into place to get with a quick button finger. Now we have MANY smiling photos.

Adding my second son to the mix has meant even less time for myself and things like my blog. I look at his gorgeous smile and have mixed feelings most days. He will be six months old soon. I see his smiles and interaction and see Kekito's same faces and babbling. It makes me sad that those days are gone. It makes me happy that I have an easy reminder to help me remember those beautiful moments. It makes me happy to see how much closer K has gotten back to that. It makes me sad once more to realize that Danny may loose those same moments with me. K did not begin having problems until around seven months old. I look forward to seeing Danny grow, but hold my breath and dread the few coming months. Being a boy, being in NJ, being the sibling of K; combined all make him at a higher risk. It has been such a challenge. I cry often about the future K could have had and wonder what it will be like for him. I see there is still potential for a bright future, but will it be reached? Will he be happy? I want him to be able to have a family and love the way that I love. I don't want to see him hurt by the shunning of his peers (as it is already happening, and breaking my heart). I don't want to see Danny go through the same.

It's hard to wonder over and over if any of it is my fault. I feel such immense guilt. I know there are genetic factors likely, but I believe it was largely linked to a lack of iron (long story). All the time lines add up perfectly to that as a cause to trigger it. I saw a special on PBS about genetics. It talked about things being in your DNA but with an "Off switch", and explained that certain triggers turn the switch "On". I think a lack of Iron turned Autism on. I bounce back and forth between blaming myself and my pediatrician. I should have listened to my gut. He rubbed me wrong at every visit, and I kept meaning to switch....

I know that beating myself up won't change it. But the fact that autism won't change means I'll probably never stop.

At least with Danny I know to listen to my gut more and not make the same mistakes. This time around, I know what I am looking for. I am forever grateful to God for giving K a playmate to always love him.

My very first Blog.... I think? (re-posted)

2010-09-12T21:14:00.000-10:00

Back to blogging week at SITS- and our first assignment is to re-post our very first blog post, so here mine is. One of my very good friends suggested I start one, and start one I did. It's getting there! It's starting to resemble a blog! ; )

I'm not so sure about what all this blog stuff is.... I think the first time I heard the word was about.... a year ago? Long after I had been reading people's "blogs" (little did I know....). I've written journals on personal networking sites... not sure if that counts.
Well anyway, I guess I'll just use the first phase of this experience to tell you about myself.

I am a CALIFORNIA GIRL! Through and through till the day I leave this Earth! I used to be a mechanic on airplanes in the military. Now I am a fulltime mom and online student- it's oh so exciting. Mmmm- mostly just really tiring. I wish I was in Diego Garcia instead sometimes- so far from the world!

Anyway. I am just pretty dang happy with life. I have my days... weeks... sometimes months.... but I just can't tell you how much I just feel like I'm on the verge of discovering something great and new each day. Even if it's a teeny-tiny something amazing- it's an amazing life none the less.

Thinking about my first giveaway...

2010-09-11T07:47:00.000-10:00

So I have been really getting back into blogging, and my steam is building! Lately I've been thinking about diving into my first giveaway!

It's something I'll for sure be doing soon; but I'm trying to think of some things readers might really enjoy! I do plan on reviewing and giving away a bottle of Avon ANEW Clinical stretch mark smoother next month. For this month, however, I am not sure if I should start with a gift card, or something awesome I can offer a review on!

So please let me know the sorts of things you'd be interested in seeing here as our very first ever giveaway!

Attention Defecit Disorder has my full attention (just about)...

2010-09-10T11:48:00.003-10:00

Sigh... I don't know where to begin about the topic of ADD. It's been affecting my life in so many ways lately. Today I was so bummed when one of my best friends told me she got ADD meds. We both have been thinking lately about how badly we need to get on meds, and we both made Dr. appointments. Well, i guess there is a big difference between Air Force doctors and Marine Core doctors. We both were previously diagnosed; but she was prescribed meds, and I was referred to a psychiatrist to get them sometime in the next few weeks. I know they have to look out for drug seekers (which I am not... but I realize they wouldn't know that), but man I am going to have a rough time getting ADD medication if I am not allowed to bring my boys to the appointments!

I was diagnosed with ADD close to 10 years ago. It made my whole life make sense all of a sudden. It was a complete and utter shock to realize that not everyone else in the world felt like I did. Sometimes I still wonder how most "average" people think and feel, because there's just no way of knowing....

...Or is there? I am hoping that being on ADD medication will give me a more "normal" sense of normal. I tried for a long time to resist them and focus on behavior modification. I am a firm believer in using medications only as necessary. I have now reached that point of necessary!

One good book all ADDer's (or those who dearly love and ADDer) may want to read : You mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?! This book is simply a must read!

I leave you now with an encouraging piece for us that deal with daily ADD malfunctions! I stumbled across this couple of years ago, and now keep it pinned up on my wall!

10 Benefits of Having Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)

By ADD Management Coach Jennifer Koretsky © 2004 Jennifer Koretsky

There is a common misconception in the world that having Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) is a bad thing. While the ADD-wired brain certainly presents some challenges, it also offers some incredible benefits. The following is a list of characteristics that I consistently see in my clients, friends, and colleagues with ADD.

1.Compassion

People with ADD have a tremendous power to connect with other people. But it goes a step further than that. We also have an advanced ability to empathize with others, and to see many different perspectives.

2.Creativity

I've never met an ADDer who wasn't creative! Writers, painters, musicians, film makers, designers, sculptors, comedians - the list goes on! Artistic talents are abundant. Composers Mozart and Beethoven are believed to have had ADD.

3.Drive

When an ADDer is bored with a task, completing it can seem like torture. But give an ADDer an interesting project to work on and watch out! When we want to succeed, and we have the necessary tools to do so, there is no stopping us!

4.Problem Solving Ability

ADDers thrive on solving problems and puzzles. Give us an interesting problem to solve and we won't be able to drop it until we've found the solution! Important historical inventors such as Thomas Edison and Thomas Jefferson are believed to have had ADD.

5.Hyper-Focus

The ability to hyper-focus is something that ADDers can use to our advantage. When kept under control and directed towards productive tasks, like accomplishing goals and living dreams, it can be an incredible asset that allows us to get the job done, and done well!

6.Sense of Humor/Comedic Flair
Most ADDers love to laugh, and many also have a knack for making others laugh! Famous comedians such as Whoopi Goldberg and Robin Williams are rumored to have ADD.

7.Resiliency
There's no denying that even though there are many great qualities that come along with ADD, there are also challenges. But ADDers have an incredible ability to bounce back from those challenges, and others' criticism of those challenges that we've endured.

8.Intuition
ADDers have a sharp sense of intuition. This may be due to highly tuned levels of perception, or great insight into the human mind, or something else that we have yet to understand. Whatever the reason, it's a very useful gift!

9.Idea Generating
ADDers are wonderful idea generators. We don't usually like to be bothered with details, but we can come up with ideas at lightning speed! We're a true asset in brainstorming meetings!

10.That "Special Something"
Many ADDers feel that they have a unique way of looking at the world, a perspective that others just don't understand. That is, until the ADDer meets other people with ADD! You might say that we're on our own wavelength!

Operation beautiful

2010-09-02T21:06:00.003-10:00

I was reading in a magazine the other day about "Operation Beautiful"; and it was an amazing story! A young woman, Caitlin, began just writing post it notes to encourage herself. Turns out it took on a whole life of it's own, and touched many more lives than she ever thought.

She wrote about it on her blog, and it blew up the comment section. This led her to create a website, Operation beautiful, dedicated to this mission of spreading positive energy to all of us beautiful women out here in a tough world!

I am totally inspired to write in http://www.operationbeautiful.com/ at the bottom of an entire stack of notes. I think my first sticky will go into the books I just checked out from the library about autism and sensory integration dysfunction.

I encourage you to check out the site!!!

loving Avia

2010-08-31T09:07:00.006-10:00

So I bought the new Avia walking shoes that help you burn more calories, improve posture, etc.... I have to say they really are awesome! The neatest part is that they look unlike any others I've seen. Take a look:

They have a few other colors too, but these are my favorite! I definitely recommend them!

Island life

2010-08-29T08:00:00.003-10:00

So far living on Oahu has been beautiful. The weather is always fabulous, and the scenery is incredible! We go for long walks almost everyday, something I missed so much living in New Jersey.

We finally got all settled into a house about 6 weeks after we got here- and our furniture came another 2 weeks later. That made for a rough transition. Made me realize how spoiled Americans are. I was always aware of that- but you know how you don't truly get it until you and your bad back sleep on the floor everyday for a couple weeks?! sigh. I wish everyone in the world had a bed!

Our latest venture was setting up all his Early Intervention services here. He's just about got it all wrapped up and will be starting therapy in september. We're also going to start evaluations with a child psychologist to figure out a diagnosis for him. That's a monkey I look forward to getting off my back!

My next big challenge will trying to find a play group with parents who are understanding and accepting of him. That I think will be my biggest challenge. Hopefully not.

Contemplating big life changes now, so I am curious to see where life takes me in the next year. It seems like the dust never fully gets to settle in my life. =) I'm trying to decide whether to start working again, and am feeling overwhelmed about finding day care to fit our needs, as well as paying for it while I'm still looking for a job. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to find a job to cover day care costs, but I need to start getting a little tiny bit of a life of my own...

aloha...

2010-06-15T15:39:00.006-10:00

Well I found out today that our house will be packed up sooner than we thought! We're moving to Hawaii next week! But the house is getting packed up this week! Sigh..... Looking forward to the new change but a little bit anxious! I feel bad putting K through another move! Hopefully we'll be in the same house in Hawaii for a few years though.

The last time i lived somewhere for more than 2 years was in 2003. I am so tired of moving. Some of the moves only had 6 months or so on them! Hopefully this won't be yet another thing to keep me away from blogging. This is definitely something I need to do for me! =)

....So moving day came and went, and here I am 3 weeks later finding this in my drafts. I think there was a diaper emergency, or some sort of meltdown when I was last attempting to write.

Sitting right now in our hotel. It is amazingly beautiful. I feel so blessed to call this my new home! It HAS been hard living with two little kids in a hotel for weeks. Sleep is evading us all. I keep wondering if when we get into a house (just over a week!!!! YAY!), we will all sleep 20 hours straight... lol

We have been busy busy busy this last week here. Buying a car, looking for bedroom furniture. All of our stuff won't make it here until at least mid-late August. I've learned so many things about long distance moves lately. Next time I'll be ready!

Hoping Kekito gets more used to hotel life. He's been a little stir crazy, and hasn't been able to enjoy the beach due to some stitches in his chin. Soon though, soon. (oh yeah, and we've had 3 fun ER trips in the last 2 weeks...)

Hope everyone had a safe and lovely 4th of July!

wow, I could have had another pregnancy almost complete since my last post

2010-06-07T16:28:00.002-10:00

It's been awhile yet again. Life has been up and down. I guess keeping up with this has been an overwhelming thought for me. =)

I have no free time really, so I guess that would be why.

Since my last post- right about that time actually- K started the Early Intervention program. Every moment I've had since then has been spent working with him and his therapy strategies.

He appeared to have many autistic traits; which is how it all began. Since working on the intervention, he has made leaps and bounds! He is now mostly caught up developmentally. He is behind in some areas but not enough to be considered a delay any longer.

At first I thought he was 100% improved (by my standards he is 500% improved!), but upon seeing him with many of his peers I believe he does have High Functioning Autism. I think had we not had the intervention it would have been worse. Even just looking at pictures now, I feel like I am looking at a different person I knew in another life. Before EI he wasn't making any eye contact. VERY few of our pictures have him looking into the lens. The few there are, are ones I had to twist and contort into place to get with a quick button finger. Now we have MANY smiling photos.

Adding my second son to the mix has meant even less time for myself and things like my blog. I look at his gorgeous smile and have mixed feelings most days. He will be six months old soon. I see his smiles and interaction and see Kekito's same faces and babbling. It makes me sad that those days are gone. It makes me happy that I have an easy reminder to help me remember those beautiful moments. It makes me happy to see how much closer K has gotten back to that. It makes me sad once more to realize that Danny may loose those same moments with me. K did not begin having problems until around seven months old. I look forward to seeing Danny grow, but hold my breath and dread the few coming months. Being a boy, being in NJ, being the sibling of K; combined all make him at a higher risk. It has been such a challenge. I cry often about the future K could have had and wonder what it will be like for him. I see there is still potential for a bright future, but will it be reached? Will he be happy? I want him to be able to have a family and love the way that I love. I don't want to see him hurt by the shunning of his peers (as it is already happening, and breaking my heart). I don't want to see Danny go through the same.

It's hard to wonder over and over if any of it is my fault. I feel such immense guilt. I know there are genetic factors likely, but I believe it was largely linked to a lack of iron (long story). All the time lines add up perfectly to that as a cause to trigger it. I saw a special on PBS about genetics. It talked about things being in your DNA but with an "Off switch", and explained that certain triggers turn the switch "On". I think a lack of Iron turned Autism on. I bounce back and forth between blaming myself and my pediatrician. I should have listened to my gut. He rubbed me wrong at every visit, and I kept meaning to switch....

I know that beating myself up won't change it. But the fact that autism won't change means I'll probably never stop.

At least with Danny I know to listen to my gut more and not make the same mistakes. This time around, I know what I am looking for. I am forever grateful to God for giving K a playmate to always love him.

Pregnancy..... I'm done with it!

2009-10-11T13:48:00.005-10:00

I would love to have more than two children, but I done think I ever want to have to be pregnant again! It just doesn't agree with me! lol I always hear women talking about having labor amnesia so that they could bear getting pregnant again. Well, I had a C-Section so I really wouldn't understand, except I am thinking maybe I had pregnancy amnesia! = )

Either that, or my body got a whole lot older these last 2 years! Maybe it's a little of both! I think I've had it all this time! Morning sickness, arthritis (nothing new- but so much worse now! lol), much worse fatigue this time (thanks to Kekito?), now carpal tunnel in both hands and charlie horses in my sleep! I just started having trouble staying asleep now too! lol Oh man, I'm such a whiner! Seriously, I am just so much more exhausted this time. I'm amazed at how little time I've spent at the computer this ENTIRE summer, and now... FALL too!

I am SO looking forward to Halloween this year! The weather here has been great lately, and the leaves are starting to change! Kekito is going to be a cute little Elmo!!!

Oh and I just realized, being so long since I've logged in here, I haven't gotten to say..... that we're having another boy! =) Looking forward to watching the boys develop into lifelong "frenemies". ;)

Kekito is changing so much lately, growing up faster and faster! Here is a video of Daddy teaching Kekito to do the twist! Now every time we say "You do it!" out of nowhere, he starts doing little Elvis the Pelvis moves- it's hysterical!

Happy Fall everyone!

A is for airplane and Ahh-ba-ba...

2009-06-24T05:06:00.006-10:00

A is for the wonderful airplane that took me home for a few warm, wonderful months! We are back in California for a short while, which sadly means less and less reading and writing of blogs. =( My only access to a computer here is the desktop in my son's room. And so...... seeing as how most of my free time is during nap time... =) You get the picture!

We've been doing a lot of work with Kekito's eating exercises and getting him lots of park exercise and he's making great improvements- to me at least!!! ;) This leads me to "ahh-ba-ba"! I am not certain this counts ad his first word besides the mama and dada; but for 3 days any time someone said apple (or anytime he saw one) he said "Ahh-ba-ba". And like all other exciting things he's learned, he now refuses to utter those syllables. =) He's also finally making new sounds. I never thought I could get this excited! lol I am just dying to hear his little voice! He's made a shh sound after I say shirt and a k sound once after I said cat. I am so excited to see how much he is learning and how strong he is getting.

Everything is good here, and I hope everyone else is having an amazing summer!

For all moms with young children...

2009-06-02T06:11:00.007-10:00

In my opinion, all moms should buy the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth! My son was terribly colic, so I've always had issues with his sleeping. I have read a lot of books about children's sleep by this point, lol- and this is the best! It makes a great baby shower gift!

The most common problem I hear around my sons age is "my son won't sleep straight through the night anymore". SO... I know this sounds counterproductive.... putting your baby to sleep EARLIER rather than later helps a ton. Most people try to keep their babies up later when they won't sleep through the night, but it throws off the natural circadian rhythms in their body. There are 2 parts to the rhythm and BOTH have to be telling them to sleep or be awake to sleep easily/wake up happily. I guess one rhythm can say sleep, while the other says wake up! I learned all of this from this fabulous book! ;)

Image via Amazon.com
May be purchased HERE (affliate link)

If you get them in a good rhythm at night- they will take naps easier too. Basically- put them to bed BEFORE they really seem tired. I also read that to pick a good window of time for nap is to take the time they best wake up and go to sleep (being able to have good sleep straight through); count the number of hours between them and cut it in half. Your child should nap around that time. So if they sleep 7pm to 7 am, then 6 hours after they wake up, they should be napping around 1.

I also learned that colic babies are more sensitive to sleep schedules even as toddlers. I already knew my son was overly sensitive to changes- but did not know that it was common for all post-colic babies. This book has a TON of good information about sleep. There is good information for older children; and I have applied some principles to my own sleep as well!
I completely recommend it!

The Mystery Spot

2009-05-29T04:12:00.006-10:00

This is the neatest place, I swear! I grew up in California a mere 2 hours or so from Santa Cruz, but NEVER made it to the Mystery Spot. I can't tell you how many times I have seen the bumper sticker and always thought, "eventually"....

Well, now I have FINALLY gone! The gravity there is somehow messed up, and it is the strangest feeling I have ever felt. I didn't believe these pictures until I went- and boy am I sure this is so real- no tricks here! Since I am pregnant, I get dizzy more easily now. Let me tell you, I was so dizzy I could barely walk straight through the center to get out of the spot! I thought I was going to loose it! I had to move straight through the center and sit down on the ground!

It was unfortunate because in the center is a cabin with a lot of experiments to play with that show off the unique properties! My husband had a blast. I at least did get to watch everyone! Things roll up, instead up down.... trees grow branches on only one side to compensate... people walk around dang dear close to laying on the ground...
I can say I have NEVER experienced anything like it! The tour guide said there are (I think...) 13 other places like it in the world- if you EVER have the chance, you have GOT to go! And it's not very pricey either! You will have a great time and wonderful memories!

The Mystery Spot

Into thin air.... and Early Intervention

2009-05-26T06:10:00.004-10:00

Well I think I've gone far too long with out getting on here to post! I went out to California for a greatly needed vacation! So that whole time, I went through Internet withdrawals and thought I'd be hopping back on immediately when I returned home! But it has been even crazier and busier than it was before I left!

The thing that has kept me most busy since I've been back? Early Intervention. It's a federal program that evaluates children under the age of 3 for developmental delays. If there is enough delay in any area(s) to warrant a need to be treated, appropriate therapy begins.

My son is NOT a talker. Not even a little. He only says "mama" at almost 17 months old, and it sounds very forced. He reserves it only for desperate times- like when he thinks I'm leaving with out him! :) I was confused for a long time trying to figure out what I was doing wrong! I am a stay at home mom; I talk to him and read to him practically all day! And I limit his TV time to about 1 hour a day of either sesame street or baby Einstein. So for a while I wouldn't let him have ANY TV hoping that may help. He went a whole week at one point with out even seeing so much as 5 minutes of CNN (which we often have on here)! It has seriously been driving me crazy. I've never pushed him (unfortunately my husband has), but I did notice he understands SOOOOO much of what I am saying! So I tried to figure that maybe since he could understand SO much, that maybe he just did not want to talk (seeing as how he is so stubborn). Also I had noticed that any sound he tried to make came from his throat while he kept his lips tightly closed, so it got me even more curious...

Finally I got him evaluated by Early Intervention. As it turns out, his delay isn't related to anything I have or have not done. Lol, just lucky old genetics! : ) He has low muscle tone, which apparently affects all his fine motor skills. He understands language and things in general around a 20 month old level, but "speaks" at a 9 month old level. It took a lot of confusing questions to his evaluators and speech therapist to understand completely what was going on. I guess people with low muscle tone have much more flexible muscles; from my understanding, that means that until they are very strong it gives them little control over fine, small movements. It has not affected his gross motor skills in any way- he was an early sitter, and average crawler & walker. The only thing he has trouble with is using his facial muscles to make the correct shapes and openings to talk; and making small controlled movements with his fingers.

And now the even better news! At his first speech therapy appointment, the therapist said he actually isn't even bad enough to need speech therapy! As long as he is actually functioning at his ability level, he is fine. All he needs, she said, is to get stronger. She taught me a lot of ways to exercise his facial muscles through the way he eats. It is so time consuming, but we have already seen great improvements in such a short time! He never used to bite all the way through foods or chew (I thought he was lazy! lol), but now he is doing both of those things! And he seems to be trying to babble with us more often! I also have hope that since the snow and bad winter weather is gone, more exercise at the park will help this summer! I was told the stronger he gets in his core muscles, the stronger his jaw will also become!

The last reason for my long absence.... unbelievable nausea! I never had it in my first pregnancy; so it hit me like a shocking ton of bricks! I have been nauseous all day, every day (save for 1 miracle day last week!) for the last 4 weeks almost. I am quite ready for all that to be done. :) It has kept me from wanting to do just about anything and everything! :)

I hope everyone has had a great month of May! Sorry I have missed out on everything- I hope to catch up on everyone's blogs!

Adventure Days...

2009-04-29T04:34:00.008-10:00

... Beginning with Adventure Aquarium!

We live in New Jersey, close to Camden county, where the Adventure Aquarium is located. We have gone several times already! With a new baby on the way, we've decided pretty soon we'll have to get a family pass! This was Kekito's third time visiting and he had the best time yet!

Sergio has this thing about holding my precious little man =) over the rail to see the skyline and the water... and I have this thing about how much it utterly freaks me out! I know he's got a tight grip; but with a wiggly, stubborn toddler, accidents happen!!! It upset me so much I started to cry- it was making me so panicky (not sure if the tears were truly fear induced or hormones)! Which I think only made him want to do it more. So we made a deal- one picture and then we're done!

Our other fun adventure this weekend was an outing to the park. Kekito is SO adventurous these days. Every Dandelion has him spellbound. He can't move on until he's thoroughly inspected every bit of it.

He hands me his ripped up flowers, and I teach him to smell them...

And the best part- now he's trying to teach me. He teaches me a lot actually! ;)

Artists I love...

2009-04-29T04:05:00.016-10:00

Going to the art festival made me think about so many fond memories I have of visiting my amazing "GREAT" aunt Susan ;) I loved sitting in her booth and feeling like I was part of the artist In-crowd! I always felt like I knew a celebrity! My Aunt Susie is an incredible artist, and I can honestly say that she is just about 100 percent of my inspiration to dabble in art. She has fostered my love for, and admiration of, art. It was she who got me addicted to visiting museums! It's something that leaves a hole in me if I go too long without seeing a good new exhibit. Seeing the ocean does the same thing somewhere deep inside me. I wanted to take this opportunity to introduce some new people to one of her many talents. I can honestly say, I've never seen anything like her leather art- truly one of a kind! Click her link: Dawn Mountain Leather Art to see something
new!

And while I'm on a roll introducing you to my favorite inspirations, meet my good friend Lesley.

She is the owner of Noah Baby Boutique. Her boutique is set up on Etsy, allowing you to conveniently purchase her products online! She even creates custom orders. She has the cutest baby onsies, burp cloths, blankets, and sets! I've seen them all bundled up, ready to go and even that is a beautiful sight! She leaves no detail ignored. Next time you need a wonderful, unique baby shower gift, keep these sets in mind- they are sure to please! There are even organic cotton

sets for the Eco-minded! Check out the link to: Noah Baby Boutique

I hope you enjoy their items as much as I do!