I'm just going to sit here and look pretty.

Today started out beautifully; but as is usual lately, it's kind of fallen apart by mid day. I think one of the things that frustrates me about living with Autism is how hard it is to ever have a really nice day ALL DAY. I know it's not all that common for most families with ANY small children to often have smooth days. But I FEEL like with Kekito it may be harder. I feel like instead I live in beautiful moments, which I have learned to be mostly ok with. But I don't think it's as easy as that for everyone around me. K is so easily set off by so many things and I always wonder if the stress will make us all weaker or stronger. I feel like with everyone in my world I am responsible for ensuring they have a good time while also looking out for K's triggers and good time. I want to be consistent with him even when it's awful and hard. But i end up feeling like I burst other peoples bubbles on the way. I need to get off the tight rope. If you have any suggestions, or feel the same, please feel free to comment! I'd love to hear, learn, and commiserate! While we drive to labor day weekend BBQ, I will just sit quietly cutting out pretend M&Ms (I will explain that later), while I silently pray persistantly for a peaceful ride and evening. If I get the answer I want, maybe you will get to see some pictures! :)

2 comments:

Chris P-M said...

Not sure if I have any good advice...I certainly know the tightrope we walk! I have opted to get a sitter (my folks) for Kai when we've gone for a weekend camping. It was so much more stress free for me and I could focus on my other kiddo (who often feels ignored when we're focusing on Kai's issues.) We stay home a lot too, unfortunately.

Sublime Dream said...

Chris- it's always nice to hear you aren't alone! ;) although I wish no one had to deal with it. I need to find a baby sitter out here so badly. I try to trade off special times alone with each to try to be more fair to Danny. But I am always worried about how everything affects him. I wish I could have my parents around to help. There are not too many people easily found that you trust in your heart will love your child enough to deal with all that may happen in a positive way. I am hoping sooo much to get stationed near them next. They live only an hour from a base in CA. That would be life changing! I just have to make it alone until then! :) 6 more years...... Whew, I can do this. :)